How do I do it For the first in a while, I found myself asking myself that question How do I go around acting as if everything is perfectly fine When in reality I'm a wreck inside Almost lost my life today on my way to work Yet still here at work no one can tell the mixed emotions I feel inside I guess it's a mastery of the of what they say You need to separate you personally emotions and life from work when you're at work But is it wise to do especially when having to deal with real life persons with multiple issue To truly be human is so rare to me Sometimes I thinks I've forgotten how to even feel and act like one I've been through so many emotional and mental situations in life My mind just doesn't react the same any more Going through the day as if nothing had happened yet still I can't completely know how to feel But then again it's probably due to the fact I only have a few persons I can be emotional around How do I face possible death and then act as if everything is fine minutes later Is it truly being emotionally strong mentally or Am I really emotionless in life
You don't know what it's like to be loved by me Nor do I know what it's like to be loved by you But I do know one thing for sure I don't just want to love you physically But rather mentally and spiritually deep to your soul I see in you more than just a mere girl But a beautiful woman filled with so much potential To be loved by my me I know it won't always be paradise But one thing is for sure the potential I see in us is worth the trouble I'm not just looking for a one night fix Or an on and off friend with benefits Once you caught my attention I want to see what the years ahead can bring Someone to nature and grow with I'm never looking for the perfect relationship But one that has love and trust to persevere troubled times as they arise We'll start at the bottom and work our way to the top From strangers to friends to a point words can no longer explain the bond we share But through our actions the words take form Until those forbidden words are finally spoken to each other With true meaning to the words till death do us part
I've been told many times by others You're living in a fantasy world Just because of how I view things in life And as normal I'm not phased by it Merely because the fact is I live by my own rules My fantasy world ain't no fantasy It's just that I'm willing to sacrifice a lot more to bend things to a mutual point in life Eventually one learns that life isn't just about winning But learning to live with your failures as well And learning how to think ahead for the next time around My fantasy world hmm not so much If I want something it's what I will get in the time I say People often take the things I say for joke But what the heck once I am on my own it's possible as I have no one to worry about A strong man is strongest when he's alone And I've proven this in my life time before I live in my own world with such high expectations for myself Yet so little from others as I hardly expect to receive the same energy I put in I'm the guy who thinks of every possibility before diving in head first I'm the kind of guy who wants to rebuild my world on my own after losing everything I don't want any handouts or pity I want my own empire from my own sweat and blood I'm the kind of guy who wants a family and not someone to play games with A visionary who's in the game for the long run no matter how hard times may get To have an easy victory sometimes results in losing more than expected I don't want to be rich and famous Just humble and comfortable so I can enjoy the time spent with those I love and care about Time waits on no man and our destiny is not carved in stone I like being different and I will make my fantasy world real one step at a time
It almost a year now since I first met you As another ordinary person at work seeking my help But unforeseen to me things would have changed so much Once I had the courage to approach you Or should I say to let you in since approached me first At first I never really took those words you've always asked me in a playful tone Into taught but as I got to know you they began to hold meaning And at times meaning so deep I contemplated if I should act upon them To think you would have been able to break me To make me want to open up to you ways I've hidden for years now You've slowly but surely grown to be more than just a friend to me One might even say you've become an aspiring bride to be in my eyes Someone I still have a lot to learn about but willing to take the time nonetheless You at times make me nervous to act upon my natural instincts Or may say just confused as I still learn who you are To be or not to be is a question I ask myself constantly Or is it the fear of losing something I'm not sure I ever had speaking now But nonetheless I'm glad I you came into my life when you did And hopefully this ain't the end either
You know sometimes growing up ain't easy being the first born So much is expected of us from the day we're born Sometimes it's a challenge or one might even say it's a burden As all expectations fall on our shoulders To carry on the families name and will It's often times our job to be the problem solver of the family The one who has to maintain a delicate balance In all affairs of the family especially the families stability Sometimes we wish we could be free like our younger siblings Sometimes I wonder why is it that so much is expected from us Sometimes we want to keep our families in good standing While on the other hand we want to enjoy life to the fullest As we discover who we are We are the ones who our parents look to for support The ones who a entrusted with keeping our younger siblings in line We are trusted with so much it's a privilege As every decision made of great importance we're consulted for our approval As the first born we not only assume the title as hire To our families fortune and blessings but also we inherit all the problems and downfalls Of our predecessors As a first born sometimes our lives are not our own But nonetheless it's our choice to forge our own future Even with all the challenges we inherit
At a first glance I might seem like a heartless bastard But as you grows closer to me you realize It's just a show for self protection As at times my own emotions are too complicated and dangerous To expose to others even if I wanted to My emotions that hides behind this pretense Are like kryptonite as my emotions will Make me want to put those I care about before myself As they become my only weakness in life With these emotions exposed my plans are placed on hold As your dreams becomes a priority as do your happiness At times one would say I become less self focused or self centered As my main energy is diverted to replace your lost faith But these changes are sometimes not visible to others As I'll always act like the problem solver even when down on my face I act brave in the presence of other but deep inside I'm tearing apart But closing you out from these emotions I have no wish to do so With rise of each sun I struggle to balance my choices To be neutral without picking sides But this is probably why I chose to suppress these emotions The words I love you are now forbidden words As now at the snap of a finger my emotions can change towards anyone At anytime I see fit
At first one never really understands love As many times we think we've found the one The one to erase all pain and loneliness Repeatedly you ask yourself is she the one As you sit and think back on how she makes you feel The way her voice can make your day of misery turn to joy instantly The way you admire her smile and laughter Or the way you make each other nervous just by looking into each other's eyes You find yourself speechless or stuttering when she say hi I will never understand it to tell you the truth She makes you want to be a better man each day As she inspires you both with words and the actions that follows You find yourself gazing off at night wondering is she ok While she's absent from your arms Her pain starts to become yours As your joy becomes her's She slowly becomes your world, your joy and pride The center of your focus in life as you look to the future Of creating a family in paradise together And not a one night stand She not only becomes a close friend but also apart of your soul Someone whom you can never hide your pain or fair from As you become connected in a way beyond physical understanding But rather through each others souls But in times like these who really knows if she's the one Or even if the one really exist
Do you ever just feel like you’re dying, Like a million suns from unknown galaxies Are crashing into you, Stealing the space and air from your lungs, Colliding with your heart, Until what’s left of your soul detaches from your body?
Do you ever just feel like even starlight Cannot keep the hope awake in your chest And you yearn for the precipice that is the night sky To swallow your whole?
Do you ever just think to yourself That only monsters live inside you And you are doomed to forever repeat Your mistakes on time lapse With despair in your bones?
Do you ever feel like there is no soul alive Who is want for what you have to offer, That the madness within is your only gift But no one dares to receive?
We are the ones who are hard to understand We'll be the last ones in the movie theatre because the ending scene made us cry We'll stop to smell the roses because they deserve to be appreciated We are the ones who will take the time to get to know what keeps you up at night We are the ones who will imagine an entire future of adventures with the people who show us love
We are the ones who will love you more than we love ourselves sometimes We will give you our strongest parts in hopes that we can make things better We desire to see you become the best you to make sure that you always feel our love We crave affection and appreciation We give a piece of ourselves away every day sometimes to people who don't deserve it Our love is easy to take advantage of and sometimes we don't get back the love that we give away
When we hurt, we crumble and fall apart We constantly have to put ourselves back together We are more fragile than we like to give off We carry our emotions on our sleeves Our flaws have the ability to consume us We aren't afraid to give you the world but we are afraid to feel unloved We want you to see what we see We want you to understand where we're coming from
We are good people with good intentions We are stronger than we look like Not everyone can feel the way we feel We feel too much, too often We are not hard to love We are something not everyone knows how to love But you need to remember that your worth does not change just because no one is there to appreciate you, to remind you
You are not any less lovable You are the most lovable person in the world You are a light that the world needs Your kindness is not your weakness You do not need to change for anyone's acceptance You do not need to stop giving love just because you don't get any back Your heart is the best thing about you
And one day when you least expect it someone will notice you from across the room and know exactly how to love you They will think all of these things are beautiful They will deserve the love you can give They will fill the empty space in your heart But for now, don't stop feeling We are the ones who feel everything so deeply We are the ones who can't give up because We are the ones who will teach the world how to love