lmavinay

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I lost myself In order to find myself

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  • lmavinay 11w

    It's like your first glass of whiskey
    So sour and burns your inside in the start.
    But, as you get the taste of it,
    It tastes like ambrosia, drink of Gods.

    It's like your first cigarette drag
    Suffocating and unpleasant,
    but after a few packs
    It calms your nerve.

    I wandered from place to place
    From Himalayan hills to Goa's sunset.
    Tried so many things
    From thrilling adventure to slow death,
    All of this to find peace.
    But these "peace" were never near in comparison to kissing death.
    Outrageously hurtful at first and
    a sweet bliss after.

    When you're about to die
    you either fight it or submit to it.
    See, the death, she's a cunning woman.
    Tricking us into believing that fighting her
    is an actual option.
    But, all it is; a false hope for all of us.
    A false sense of having a say in it.
    It doesn't matter if you fight or submit.
    Cause, ultimately we all submit,
    To her.

    After a few painful attempts to fight
    I, too, submit to her and
    at that exact moment
    I found the peace I've been looking for all my life.
    The sweet numbness of your body
    you flow as one with energy.
    All your worries just vanish.
    There, I found peace.

    And after just a few seconds of it
    I was brought back to life again.
    This peace is a deadly deal.
    I want none of it.
    Cause, what good is having such peace if you don't get to live another day in it?

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    Kissing Death

    "I wandered from place to place
    From Himalayan hills to Goa's sunset.
    Tried so many things
    From thrilling adventure to slow death,
    All of this to find peace.
    But these "peace" were never near in comparison to kissing death.
    Outrageously hurtful at first and
    a sweet bliss after."
    -L.M.A
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 12w

    "I woke up at 3'o clock in the night,
    I'm not a morning person, you see.
    I just can't seem to sleep.
    So, I turned to my phone,
    "discharged."
    I went to the kitchen,
    maybe I'll fix myself something
    "empty."

    So, I walked to my balcony and
    stood below the galaxy,
    There was a cold wind in the air and
    everything just seemed
    to be at peace.
    And a smile out of nowhere
    just stuck on me.
    Kind of like a warm embrace,
    whispering to me.

    It knew I missed it.

    I stood there all night,
    Smiling in between a twinkling star
    and slowly, progressing, sleepy yawn.

    I waited for the sun, though.
    Said goodnight to the moon.
    The wind changed, it got a little warmer,
    It felt good.

    As I look at the rising sun,
    all shades of love
    were painted in the sky.

    I've been with all of them.

    I was welcomed by the
    chirpings of the sparrows and
    the cawing of the crows
    and a smile, again,
    just stuck on me.
    It knew I missed it.
    I know I miss this.
    My slowly progressing sleep
    Just went F&F
    and I went to bed, thinking, maybe,
    I'll go out someday again."
    -LMA-
    .
    .
    These months couped up in a place, it seems I'm starting to forget the feeling of adventure, the scent of new places and the pinch of freedom.

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    As I look at the rising sun,
    all shades of love
    were painted in the sky.

    I've been with all of them.
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 17w

    "The fall has just ended
    and with it the lives of the leaves.
    The winter was about to take charge,
    when it all happened.

    I remember,
    dried out leaves on the walkway
    and the crisp sound it made when I walked on them.
    The wind was chilly and started whispering to me.
    It was past 7.
    The orange-ish red sky turned maroon, slowly progressing towards darkness.

    I was walking towards you.
    With a red rose, chocolates and a surprise.
    I saw a young couple bickering with each other and the man just hugged her and apologized for not reaching to her sooner.
    I remembered us.

    I was crossing the street next to the park when I saw a woman being mugged.
    I remembered the time I didn't help and how you thought less of me.
    This time,
    I rushed in to help, the mugger had a knife.
    I never could have won.
    I got stabbed.
    But, you were just around the next exit.
    How could I have delayed you more?
    I walked, limpingly, the blood was camouflaged by my maroon shirt and I tried to hide it under my coat.

    When I saw you, the pain gave in to my happiness as I ran and hugged you.
    I took out the red rose from under my coat which was now coated in blood.
    I collapsed as soon as you took it.
    The pain kicked in again.
    And it kicked hard.
    I was happy in that moment cause, now you'd never say that I didn't get you a single rose.
    Even though you called to break up.
    I thought you deserved, atleast, one rose.

    I don't remember anything after it.
    But, I'm sorry.
    I'm sorry that now,
    you'd have a very distinct memory of me I guess.
    Memory
    of roses and blood."
    -L.M.A
    #mirakee @mirakee @writersnetwork #pod

    Read More

    Of roses and blood

    I remember,
    dried out leaves on the walkway
    and the crisp sound it made when I walked on them.
    It was past 7.
    The wind was chilly and started whispering to me.
    The orange-ish red sky turned maroon,
    slowly progressing towards darkness.
    ( Read the caption )
    -L.M.A
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 18w

    "I like the town on rainy nights,
    the noise of heavy rain
    bring unexpected calmness.

    I like my walks with a little rain in it.

    The calmness brings peace and with it
    thousands of thoughts.
    I pick few to write on.

    With rain, silence and night
    I sometimes burst in tears.
    But that's okay, cause nobody sees them.

    I sometimes sing my favorite songs
    on top of my lungs
    and dance my way around potholes.

    I splash the water as much as I can.
    Cause, I get tired always being an adult
    So, when it rains in night,
    I sometimes change into a child."
    -L.M.A
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 18w

    You say you don't lie.

    But, I know you do.
    When you close your eyes
    to pray to the man in the skies
    I know you lie.

    I know you sin,
    But feeling bad about them
    won't make you any good.
    That's not how sin works.
    I hope you understand that you don't get to play victim here.
    You don't.

    You lie, you sin, you greed,
    you crush others dreams,
    You fight, you exploit,
    You've ruined people's lives,
    I know you've done.

    But, there's still hope for you.
    To repent, to make things right,
    to apologize, to still do some good.
    There has to be.
    I hope there is.
    Cause, I pray with my eyes closed
    to the man in the skies, too.

    -L.M.A

    @MIRAKEE #mirakee #pod

    Read More

    "You say you don't lie.
    But, I know you do.
    When you close your eyes
    to pray to the man in the skies
    I know you lie".
    -L.M.A
    ( read the caption )
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 19w

    The thing is we all follow a code.
    Knowingly or unknowingly
    we judge,
    observe and
    then pass the judgment.
    We think it's right.
    We want it to be right.

    Cause, if it's not,
    We would lose our sanity and
    fall in a pit of self doubt, indecisiveness
    and guilt, guilt of all the past judgments.

    So, all our lives we fight for that code.
    Right or wrong,
    doesn't matter to us.
    Only clinging to our sanity and
    the lie that we feed ourselves
    that we didn't do any wrong today,
    only that, matter to us.

    And you can't blame any of us.
    In the moment of truth, you'd always save yourself.
    The code, let's us live.
    But you, would always be wrong when you try to impose your code on someone else.
    -L.M.A-
    ©lmavinay

    #mirakee @mirakee

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    CODE

    "You can't blame any of us.
    In the moment of truth, you'd always save yourself first.
    The code?
    It let's us live.
    But you, would always be wrong
    when you try to impose your code
    on someone else."
    -L.M.A-
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 19w

    "Let me taste the warmth off your hugs once again
    So, I can fight the coldness settled inside me."
    -L.M.A-
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 19w

    Some times it's hard to let go
    And sometimes it doesn't matter.

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    "Lose me in the wind
    For all I know
    I'm a wave.
    The less restrained
    The better."
    -L.M.A-
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 19w

    Some people are so beautiful yet so ugly.

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    "She's beautiful
    But I fear
    That's all she was,
    Just beautiful."
    -L.M.A-
    ©lmavinay

  • lmavinay 21w

    "Sometimes when I look in her eyes, I find myself lost for hours."
    -L.M.A

    #mirakee @mirakee

    Read More

    "Her eyes are so dreamy,
    that deep depths of oceans too, seem shallow when compared to her.
    Like river Styx between her and your mortal self.
    Her eyes, they ask you to swim in it.
    To gain immortality and
    drown again and again
    in her depths."

    -L.M.A
    ©lmavinay