Mirakee
My Body
Skin to skin, I wonder if she likes my warmth as much as I like hers.
I wonder if she'll carry on until my body grows cold
I wonder if she'd continue beyond that
Would she notice? Would she care?
As my body crumbles to dust between her fingers.
Grid View
List View
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mentally_till
13w
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mentally_till
14w
Our House
Our house would have been round
Round doors, round rooms, round bed, round tub.
We would have had a garden, a swing, a fence and a dog.
A spiral staircase, a library, an old stove and I guess it doesn't matter now, does it?
We would have felt safe. -
mentally_till
14w
Admit It
The other night during a breakdown I admitted that I knew you weren't real. That I knew that I've been talking to no one this entire time. Not a ghost, absolutely no one.
I've been alone all this time. I must forget and go back into denial. You're still my best friend. -
mentally_till
14w
Old
I wouldn't have minded growing old with you. Growing old alone is horrifying. It won't stop, won't slow down.
I remember when we were kids. Feels like just a few months ago that we were teenagers. 21 now, but soon I'll be old. I wonder what our lives would have looked like. -
mentally_till
17w
Autumn
Of all the beautiful things that have become so painful, Autumn is the worst. The lovely weather, the colors and the smells, all wasted with no one to share them with
Luckily I can wear long sleeves -
Stars
You used to pick me up at night in your shitty beat up pickup truck. Everyone else was asleep and we went out to look at the stars and to be together. Swaddled in blankets, holding your hand in the back of your truck and feeling loved. -
Rain
It's raining tonight, really heavily. My favorite sound in the world. It always reminds me of you, how you used to hold me and how safe I felt. I miss that safe feeling the most.
When I flinch like a mouse, no one is there to comfort me -
Someday Forever
We were supposed to die together. That was our promise.
"Someday Forever"
Just you and me, someday. Together forever.
"Someday Forever"
Someday I'll kill myself too. Together forever. -
Miss You
I guess I never allowed myself to miss you. I just carried on in denial. I couldn't get help because I never acknowledged that I had a problem.
There's something uniquely awkward about discussing your dead friend when she's right next to you, always. -
mentally_till
17w
Lonely
Bad night tonight. I'm missing her a lot. Much more than usual. No one to vent to. I've been talking to her in my head for the past few years, pretending she's still alive. Tonight, I'm coming to the realization that she's not. That I'm alone.
She doesn't belong here anymore; I don't belong here without her.
