Mirakee
I miss the more simple days...
The sky would be overcast, and I’d be amazed, but I don’t find pleasure in this, not anymore. The sun chooses to come out and cast its light on me, which I ungratefully ignore.
I no longer see it as something beautiful, or a signal of fate. I only feel blinded. I pull down my shades and I hide behind it.
Deep down, I want to be one with nature again!! To feel the warm breeze flow through my hair, and the green grass on my feet...Now I just consider skin rashes, and blistering heat...
I want to believe in astrology once more, to base my day on my horoscope, I want to think Karma has my back, but now I believe karma’s a hoax. Everything’s balanced, as best as it can be, that even the worst of us get really lucky.
I miss when I used to look up and wish on a star, I’d search the sky, looking for mars. I only glance up every now and again, seeing nothing but bright balls of gas that could already be dead.
Because nothing lasts forever and I’m still trying to understand why—why we’re born into this world just so we can die. We constantly struggle with the life we’re given, so I wonder to myself; is that why there’s things like astrology and religion?
Are they true, or are they not? Is there an afterlife? It’s those answers I seek that invade my thoughts. I revel in this, completely lost, I’ve become angry and annoyed, sour—not sweet. I know it’s killing my body, yet I don’t retreat.
Rather, I stand totally still, cementing myself in this never-ending swill...losing all mobility, losing my free will.
©mornyngg
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I’ve been bottling up so much junk,
I close my eyes at night, and my brain throws up.
So much overwhelming information I’ve soaked in my blood through my skin...
I feel numb, but I know it’s only a matter of time before it hits me and I feel everything that’s crawled its way in.
I don’t sleep anymore I can’t motivate myself enough to try.
I don’t cry, either, it’s just all boiling inside.
So much heat, yet I’m so cold,
I feel nothing, and I think that’s what pains me the most
©mornyngg -
Calmly the clock strikes 12...
I don’t sleep much. I lie awake.
I count the people I saw throughout the day, some real, some fake. They run around in my head. They stomp their feet, they overwhelm me with dread.
Some smile, and some laugh because they can.
Others see right through me...
They know who I really am.
Their eyes widen with truth
I try to dream them away, but what’s the use?
They’ll be back again tomorrow and I’ll be lying awake
Overflowing with sorrow.
If I could borrow someone else’s mind, that’d be great.
Because my mind is captured by strangers and filled with hate
I think I come out of it, but then I fall back in. It’s pointless to try and escape it, because I’ll never win.
©mornyngg -
I’m a lot to take in.
I’ve got scars and tattoo’s on my skin
I’m not a prize you can win
I’m not an object you can abuse and use for sin.
I’m just a girl who’s heart’s been broken.
I know we’ve spoken several times
And I wonder to myself if this is all just lies
Because I can’t find you anywhere
Except in my head
God, please tell me this isn’t some fantasy that will wind up dead.
Please tell me this isn’t some dream I have to put in a jar.
But;
I think maybe it is, I think maybe I’ve taken this too far.
But I’ve seen how you look at me, I know how I feel.
So let’s breathe this fantasy to life
Let’s make this real.
©mornyngg -
Do you ever look up and stare at the stars?
Did someone you love leave you with scars?
Do you ever sit at home, all alone, and wonder what went wrong?
Maybe you think about the love you lost, or the path you’re on.
Do you ever wonder if you’ll be someone’s husband or wife?
Or do you think you’ll end up bitter and alone your whole life?
Will you be empty or will you be full?
It’s an easy choice, you should already know.
©mornyngg -
I’m so tired of letting everyone down.
They look at me and their big, bright smile becomes a frown.
I try my best to balance it all out.
But;
When I make promises,
Their heads fill with doubt.
I just can’t let go of the pain I’ve inflicted.
Even if I wanted to, it’s like a drug...
It’s addictive.
I want to to better,
I want to be trustworthy
But saying and
actually doing
feels...dirty.
©mornyngg -
Thank you, anxiety for making me think these are my last moments.
Every day it tells me I could be dying but I don’t know it.
I’m detached, and I’m numb
Anxiety’s got me under it’s thumb.
I go to the doctor, they tell me I’m fine.
But I don’t believe it, not with anxiety on my mind. It’s wearing me thin,
I’m so tired of fighting anxiety, just to let anxiety win.
©mornyngg -
I don’t know,
maybe it was me,
Maybe I didn’t see
How cruel I could truly be
Maybe I hurt you,
so you hurt me.
What did I miss that tore us apart?
Everything I said, (mean or not) came from the heart.
The heart I gave you, to hold on to,
And I feel like you never really wanted to.
Well...
Did you?
&
I know your heart was delicate,
Did I abuse it?
Misuse it?
Take advantage?
No...
What I truly believe,
after all the time we spent together, all the promises that we’d be “forever”
You didn’t give me your heart
It was never mine.
Which was such a shame, and a waste of time.
©mornyngg -
Maybe someday soon,
the sun will rise
in the dark cave you claimed as “paradise”
When it does will you smile big?
Or will you not even care that it did?
Because a room can be so bright, but inside you can still have absolutely no light.
Right?
Maybe someday soon our paths will cross once more.
Maybe by fate, so it won’t be forced.
Maybe someday soon I won’t feel so empty,
Because I am so sick and tired of pretending to be happy...
Maybe someday soon you can shine bright again,
Because, honestly, you don’t anymore.
You were my day, my knight, my light.
That’s all over now...
So;
I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know how to deal
Because
You stole my heart, and I know our love was real.
©mornyngg -
I was on top of the world
You fucking killed me.
Now, I’m buried beneath the earth
Inhaling dirt
I feel no pain
I can’t feel blood course through my veins
No thoughts cross my brain
I wanna breathe, and I can’t conceive;
Why can’t I leave?
Just breathe, breathe, breathe...
©mornyngg
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Clear Skies and Stormy Eyes
It's quiet outside
Very still
Comfortably hushed
A day that would find me
Walking about the cemetery
Singing out loud
Silently
The cemetery has become a sanctuary, as the beach once was before she died. My last visit to the beach was with her in 2007. We were supposed to go back together, the three of us, but we couldn't find time. Now she rests beneath our feet. Waking up and facing each drawn out, grueling minute, of each and every single, solitary day is a torment I can endure; but, God, damn me, because I am tired of simply ENDURING life.
I wanted to live before I died, because it was a poetic thing to think, feel, write, and do. Problem is, even were I still alive, there's just no such thing as living without you.
~Are these - tears?~
Damn it.
Looks like I've gone and made it rain again.
When, oh, God, when will this storm ever end?
©magikarp -
reneewolfcrowdenunez
8w
Read More@writersnetwork #writersbay @writerstolli @writerscommunity @Mirakee
A broken heart concealed
Is a heart that will never heal..
Thank YOU
For allowing ME
To open up and reveal..
No longer numb
Beginning again
To feel..
As now
My broken heart..
Is very nearly
Healed.
©reneewolfcrowdenunez
(Thank you so much for the❤ @writersnetwork !!)A THANK YOU, TO ALL MY MIRAKEEN FRIENDS..
HAPPY NEW YEAR!©reneewolfcrowdenunez
-
reneewolfcrowdenunez
9w
Read More
#obscure #writingcontest #creativearena @mirakee @writersnetwork #writersbay @writerstolli @mornyngg #pod
I think you love me?
But I know you don't like me..
I feel sometimes
That I've never been a part
Of a real family..
An action of love from you
Just a kind touch
Or even a hug..
Without which, you hurt me sooo much
Sometimes, I just don't know how to be
A daughter
And my effort and response to it
Feels just like, a harsh gut punch..
You can't see..
It's on the inside
You've left me bleeding..
Until next time
Thankfully, fleeting..
But there it is now, just the same..
And the obscurness of your behavior
I just cannot understand
Enough to explain
Or even, give it a name..
I think you feel, about me
Much the same..
Yet, my reaction
Because of my
Extreme sensitivity..
Makes me a prisoner of this
Not soon
To be set free..
On one side of my self-made prison
Is a jagged cliff so high..
And if I fell from it
I would surely die..
The other side are stacks
Of antique porcelain plates..
That I must walk over and upon
And not one, can I break..
Or react suddenly
If I cry out, tears so many, so wet
My escape becomes slippery..
And the more I try
To answer
This question
Obscure..
The more dangerous
It becomes for me..
As my heart may break..
Like walked upon stacks
Of fragile porcelain plates..
And it becomes
Harder
To be free..
Awash..
In this painful mystery
Of obscurity..
©reneewolfcrowdenunezLOVE, OBSCURE..
I feel sometimes
That I've never been a part
Of a real family..
©reneewolfcrowdenunez -
THE PRIZM THAT IS YOUR SOUL
This is almost what I imagine
Your Soul to look like:
Colorful, beautiful and complex..
Yes, this I imagined, nothing more
Nothing less..
©reneewolfcrowdenunez -
reneewolfcrowdenunez
12w
Read More
@mirakee @writersnetwork @mornyngg @simjue @sweetpapa_tato
Word Prompt:
Write a 8 word short tale on BarelyBarely
Covered by mist
The moonlight
Shines through it.. -
reneewolfcrowdenunez
18w
Read More
Word Prompt:
Write a 6 word one-liner on Unfamiliar
@mirakee
@writersnetwork
@writerstolliUNFAMILIAR
Wear masks...
Staying home
Cutoff...
Alone.
©reneewolfcrowdenunez
