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  • mornyngg 4d

    I miss the more simple days...

    The sky would be overcast, and I’d be amazed, but I don’t find pleasure in this, not anymore. The sun chooses to come out and cast its light on me, which I ungratefully ignore.

    I no longer see it as something beautiful, or a signal of fate. I only feel blinded. I pull down my shades and I hide behind it.

    Deep down, I want to be one with nature again!! To feel the warm breeze flow through my hair, and the green grass on my feet...Now I just consider skin rashes, and blistering heat...

    I want to believe in astrology once more, to base my day on my horoscope, I want to think Karma has my back, but now I believe karma’s a hoax. Everything’s balanced, as best as it can be, that even the worst of us get really lucky.

    I miss when I used to look up and wish on a star, I’d search the sky, looking for mars. I only glance up every now and again, seeing nothing but bright balls of gas that could already be dead.

    Because nothing lasts forever and I’m still trying to understand why—why we’re born into this world just so we can die. We constantly struggle with the life we’re given, so I wonder to myself; is that why there’s things like astrology and religion?

    Are they true, or are they not? Is there an afterlife? It’s those answers I seek that invade my thoughts. I revel in this, completely lost, I’ve become angry and annoyed, sour—not sweet. I know it’s killing my body, yet I don’t retreat.

    Rather, I stand totally still, cementing myself in this never-ending swill...losing all mobility, losing my free will.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 5w

    I’ve been bottling up so much junk,
    I close my eyes at night, and my brain throws up.
    So much overwhelming information I’ve soaked in my blood through my skin...
    I feel numb, but I know it’s only a matter of time before it hits me and I feel everything that’s crawled its way in.
    I don’t sleep anymore I can’t motivate myself enough to try.
    I don’t cry, either, it’s just all boiling inside.
    So much heat, yet I’m so cold,
    I feel nothing, and I think that’s what pains me the most
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 8w

    Calmly the clock strikes 12...
    I don’t sleep much. I lie awake.
    I count the people I saw throughout the day, some real, some fake. They run around in my head. They stomp their feet, they overwhelm me with dread.
    Some smile, and some laugh because they can.
    Others see right through me...
    They know who I really am.
    Their eyes widen with truth
    I try to dream them away, but what’s the use?
    They’ll be back again tomorrow and I’ll be lying awake
    Overflowing with sorrow.
    If I could borrow someone else’s mind, that’d be great.
    Because my mind is captured by strangers and filled with hate
    I think I come out of it, but then I fall back in. It’s pointless to try and escape it, because I’ll never win.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 9w

    I’m a lot to take in.
    I’ve got scars and tattoo’s on my skin
    I’m not a prize you can win
    I’m not an object you can abuse and use for sin.
    I’m just a girl who’s heart’s been broken.
    I know we’ve spoken several times
    And I wonder to myself if this is all just lies
    Because I can’t find you anywhere
    Except in my head
    God, please tell me this isn’t some fantasy that will wind up dead.
    Please tell me this isn’t some dream I have to put in a jar.
    But;
    I think maybe it is, I think maybe I’ve taken this too far.
    But I’ve seen how you look at me, I know how I feel.
    So let’s breathe this fantasy to life
    Let’s make this real.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 9w

    Do you ever look up and stare at the stars?
    Did someone you love leave you with scars?
    Do you ever sit at home, all alone, and wonder what went wrong?
    Maybe you think about the love you lost, or the path you’re on.
    Do you ever wonder if you’ll be someone’s husband or wife?
    Or do you think you’ll end up bitter and alone your whole life?
    Will you be empty or will you be full?
    It’s an easy choice, you should already know.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 9w

    I’m so tired of letting everyone down.
    They look at me and their big, bright smile becomes a frown.
    I try my best to balance it all out.
    But;
    When I make promises,
    Their heads fill with doubt.
    I just can’t let go of the pain I’ve inflicted.
    Even if I wanted to, it’s like a drug...
    It’s addictive.
    I want to to better,
    I want to be trustworthy
    But saying and
    actually doing
    feels...dirty.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 9w

    Thank you, anxiety for making me think these are my last moments.
    Every day it tells me I could be dying but I don’t know it.
    I’m detached, and I’m numb
    Anxiety’s got me under it’s thumb.
    I go to the doctor, they tell me I’m fine.
    But I don’t believe it, not with anxiety on my mind. It’s wearing me thin,
    I’m so tired of fighting anxiety, just to let anxiety win.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 10w

    I don’t know,
    maybe it was me,
    Maybe I didn’t see
    How cruel I could truly be
    Maybe I hurt you,
    so you hurt me.
    What did I miss that tore us apart?
    Everything I said, (mean or not) came from the heart.
    The heart I gave you, to hold on to,
    And I feel like you never really wanted to.
    Well...
    Did you?
    &
    I know your heart was delicate,
    Did I abuse it?
    Misuse it?
    Take advantage?
    No...
    What I truly believe,
    after all the time we spent together, all the promises that we’d be “forever”
    You didn’t give me your heart
    It was never mine.
    Which was such a shame, and a waste of time.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 10w

    Maybe someday soon,
    the sun will rise
    in the dark cave you claimed as “paradise”
    When it does will you smile big?
    Or will you not even care that it did?
    Because a room can be so bright, but inside you can still have absolutely no light.
    Right?
    Maybe someday soon our paths will cross once more.
    Maybe by fate, so it won’t be forced.
    Maybe someday soon I won’t feel so empty,
    Because I am so sick and tired of pretending to be happy...
    Maybe someday soon you can shine bright again,
    Because, honestly, you don’t anymore.
    You were my day, my knight, my light.
    That’s all over now...
    So;
    I don’t know how to feel, I don’t know how to deal
    Because
    You stole my heart, and I know our love was real.
    ©mornyngg

  • mornyngg 11w

    I was on top of the world
    You fucking killed me.
    Now, I’m buried beneath the earth
    Inhaling dirt
    I feel no pain
    I can’t feel blood course through my veins
    No thoughts cross my brain
    I wanna breathe, and I can’t conceive;
    Why can’t I leave?
    Just breathe, breathe, breathe...
    ©mornyngg