nowadays some people only think and cares about themselves, not even taking consideration on how their love ones would feel about. some people chooses their own desires despite knowing their love ones can suffer or hurt by their impulsive act. some people are just too egoistic and boastful that they think everything they do is right and wholesome while jeopardizing the life of their loved ones.
regardless of how people act nowadays, I hope you continue to show and give mercy, humility and patience despite your pain and suffering, nevertheless the inequity and injustice of the world we live in; these are all fleeting. What matters most is what's inside of your heart, what radiates your soul and how yoy became a legend in the eyes of the people you have shown benevolence. Your sacrifices are all valid and seen. In time, everything will be paid off, everything will work out for the best of you, everything will get better and be healed, you will prosper and be joyful. All great things takes time, even the most beautiful flower takes time to bloom... and so are you.
the flow of life is extremely unpredictable and fearsome yet each of us are born with strength, hope and faith to go on with life despite of it all, we may fall multiple times yet we always see ourselves carrying our own cross and going onwards despite the pain from the baggages we carry along, by experiences and challenges we are able to gain wisdom that we will carry on throughout our journey as we fulfill the desires of our heart and lead us to a fate that we all along deserves to be.
come on tell me again, repeatedly and constantly haughtily and egocentrically
tell me how tall you are tell me how much you accomplished tell me the things you have achieved tell me how far you have gone tell me how high you have gone through tell me how smart and knowledgeable you are tell me your luxury and wealth
but I know the things that you will never tell me on how weak your foundation is on how you brag things up like you did it by yourself on how pretentious you are on the things that you do on how you belittle and treat other people badly like you are the superior on how you backstab people just to gain attention and destroy others relationship on how proud you are on the things that I already quite know before you ever know on how you do things in a bribe and corruptible way
I hope every father always value and instill good principles to his children, no matter how imperfect and faulty we are as humanbeings, father's must pursue what's best for their children and their future, with that being said you are not only just a good father but a great role model to other people.
no matter what's going on right now into your life, despite the anxiety, frustration and fear of the unknown, the pain you are suppressing, the chaos inside your mind, the falling pieces of your heart,
someone out there believes in you, someone out there is proud of you, someone out there considers you as an inspiration, someone out there loves you behind the darkness engulfing you, someone out there wants to tell you to keep going,
you may be experiencing like a coal for now, that needs to put under pressure, to be burned and heated until it becomes refined and makes a fine gem,
I don't want to face the day again Same old routine and same old pain... It's a feeling that I cannot shake Where everything's done for my own sake... One more day with no friends around Though they say there are people abound I can hear no familiar sound Wish I could go back to where peace is found... The days are long and nights are longer The feeling to stay secluded still gets stronger... Another day, though it's new Will come with notable things so few... Gone seem the days when all was gay Who is there for you to say That you desire company to pass the day That you are vulnerable for the demons to slay... That all you seek is people around But the world goes round and round And you are the sheep and life's a hound Which soon will lay you to the ground...
there are instances that i've been calling it several things. they termed it infinity, but that word reminded me of the void instead.
and i'm still trying to fathom how much of it i missed, or how much of it is already drowning me. for the sky changes to pastel pink and purple when the day starts, almost similar to how it ends, and the ocean's surface looks the same. but the reflection gets a little bit blurry most of the time, doesn't it?
because even the waves speak how unclear things can become no matter how open they already are.
so i wanted to tell you that i was about to write something, about this empty feeling inside my chest, about how much i'm trying to keep myself from bursting within.
I cannot describe how hard it is to snuggle against my pillow in the dim dim light with guilt hovering my mind in the cave of your thoughts. It's Saturday night and I wish I could rub off the taste of your hurt that's slowly growing on my burnt skin. 8:00 p.m. and the ache is still here.
I could stay this way for the longest time.
A glass of vodka and a drunk note named after you is lying under my bed, mocking at me, I'm drunk on melancholy for the night. I have enough alcohol to drown in my pain tonight. Enough to escape.
Get out of my head please. Before I kick you out. Cause I don't want to. My head is not a safe place to reside. So leave, and remember to knock next time before you enter.
4 poems later, I'm losing my appetite for your love, feed me more sadness please. Else I might die.
And damn, it hurts to say, but that wouldn't be a great sight. I hope it isn't.
"Write me a poem" - I've written hundreds. But you're not here to read them anymore. My words are though. I doubt if I love you or love these abandoned poems now.
"I love what a glorious mess you are" - You don't. You wouldn't fade away when I was falling apart had you meant that. You lied big time. And I fell for the trap.
Every time I'm finally close to loving myself, you snatch my heart away from me, clawing out blood and stomping it under your feet. How do I keep it safe if you keep walking over me over and over and over and over again?
I'm tired now. After a million attempts, I'm tired. And worn out. I am bereft of tears. It's just alcohol now. And I'm dying slowly. My bones are rusting. And I'm continuing to die.
But it's okay. It always is.
________________________________________________ They fucking lie when they tell you that every cell in your body regenerates itself every 11 months because I still feel these emotions, only with greater intensity this time and it physically hurts to go through it all over again.