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  • nephthys19 8w

    ... for when that time comes -
    when I have arrived at my destination,
    when curious rays of light joust for a peek
    between the half-opened jalousies of my cemented home,
    eager to catch a glimpse of their rival; a splendent glow
    soon to be emanating from every cell within these collapsing prison walls -
    those having not witnessed this rogue metamorphosis, will surely ask,
    "But how did this masterpiece come to be?"
    and in response, my lush honeyed lips will lazily stretch up- and outwards,
    eventually pulling apart to reveal slightly crooked pearly whites,
    (yes, my smile; a fitting compliment to my wildly euphoric brown eyes)
    then I will calmly answer,
    "Simple. I set myself on fire."

    Now... watch me burn!


    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 9w

    When I'm gone what do you think will hurt most?
    The fact that you can't move on or
    that everyone else has moved on and left you behind?

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 9w

    Trying to deviate from their plan
    but they just find a way, it seems,
    to put you right back on track.
    they need you to be lazy
    to be depressed
    to be downtrodden
    to be guilt-ridden
    to doubt self
    to be cursed with low self esteem
    because if you're not busy being those things
    then you will most definitely be busy being great
    and they can't have that
    because your greatness will cause ripples
    through their perfect, lifeless plans.
    but you must deviate from the plan
    matter of fact, you will deviate
    and do so to greatness.
    just got to want it badly enough.

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 9w

    This doesn't make any sense to me but it's what came out and it feels complete so ����‍♀️

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    I can hardly even hear myself think anymore
    amidst the silent clamour
    of my imprisoned thoughts.
    still, the ones that manage to escape
    are foreign to me
    and their obscurity mocks me,
    taunts me as if to say,
    "you are no longer in control of this being;
    no longer the author or finisher of this book."

    Then, eventually, the words just stopped flowing
    and when I checked inside,
    I came to realized there was nothing there;
    the empty hollowness of my heart aside.
    ironic, though, how words buried six-inch deep
    could be so lacking of a necessary depth;
    the curse of an unholy mediocrity
    surely the cause of their death.

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 9w

    Learn the difference between who is for you unconditionally
    and who is for you only when your conditions are in their favour.

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 9w

    Oh, how I've wronged You
    Focusing selfishly on all that goes wrong
    Spitting in the face of Your daily favours
    Belittling them with my constant complaining
    Yet You so ever gracefully and patiently
    Deliver me from the woes of my own doing
    Over and over again
    Never asking for anything in return

    How could it be
    That I am blinded to such divinity?
    Seeking out proof of Your existence
    When all along it could clearly be seen in my own
    Oh, how I've wronged You
    And in doing so,
    I have wronged myself too

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 10w

    I saw it coming
    Another mental undoing
    My recurring downfall
    Billowing towards me
    A knowing smile
    Gleaming across its conquering eyes

    I remembered screaming
    Then turning
    And stumbling
    Hurriedly down a crooked path
    I hoped would lead the way
    Far away from this nightmare personified

    I somehow found my way back though
    Right back to the place I thought I'd left behind
    And in no time
    I was thrust into its suppressing grasp
    With arms wide open
    And eyes wide shut

    And upon impact
    Amidst our heart-shattering collision
    I cried out in defeat
    Condemning life's lack of fairness
    Towards me

    ... But perhaps
    It was I who was unfair to me
    This time around

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 10w

    it's funny how
    easily and eagerly
    most people respect my wishes
    to be left alone
    when I'm down
    and out
    (and really of no use or help to them);
    a liability.
    its funny how
    they don't question anything
    not the sudden shift in my demeanor
    not the possible causes of it;
    nothing.
    It's almost as if
    I saved them
    from doing something
    they secretly wouldn't have wanted to do anyway.

    it's funny really
    that if you tried
    asking those same people
    to be left alone
    when you're up
    and about
    living your best life
    and joy is in abundance,
    it's suddenly offensive
    because how dare you
    cut them off
    and deny them
    an undeserved slice of your heaven?
    how dare you
    refuse them the chance
    to use you as an asset
    to further their advancement of self?

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 24w

    I have seen men acquire
    but a thin slice of knowledge over many a decade
    yet, in pride,
    invite others to feast as if it were the entire cake.
    And I have seen starved men eat
    of the crumbs of this Fast Supper
    then speak of satisfaction,
    blindly praising their host's selfish "generosity".

    I have seen self-appointed shepherds fight
    amongst themselves about the superiority of single blades of grass
    boasting of right ones and wrong ones and chosen ones.
    Though, I have known their acquired strand of knowledge,
    in all it's articulated glory,
    to be nothing but a sheep misplaced from His herd.

    I have seen impatient souls long await
    the return of prodigal sons and daughters to the flock;
    eager to glimpse a picture of the family that they are of no relation.
    But I have seen envy
    in the hearts of loved ones
    drive those brothers and sisters away again
    back onto the path to the Promised Land.

    But, alas!
    This blinded girl is truly yet to see.

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19


    PS: "Fast Supper" is a parodied reference to the 'Last Supper'.
    #mirakee #mirakeeworld #writersnetwork #see #blind

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    But, alas!
    This blinded girl is truly yet to see.

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19

  • nephthys19 25w

    The result of 02:25 AM panic attack turned epiphany.
    Simple words to express an articulate pain.

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    I knew I was truly doomed
    when my mother woke up
    in the middle of the night
    like she normally does
    to check the locks on the
    doors and windows
    but didn't bother to poke
    her head through the opening
    in my bedroom door
    to check on me
    or didn't even bother
    to come into my room
    to kneel at my bedside
    and whisper a prayer for me.
    Yes, I knew I was doomed
    when the person who brought
    me into this world
    no longer checked to see
    whether I survived it or not.

    - Joy
    ©nephthys19