Once I dug deep to find what I truly want. I imagined all the wealth, all the luxury and all the women. I went through everyplace and felt every emotion. I imagined everything that is imaginable. I even imagined all the pains and all the tortures. I tried to find that one thing that would satiate me forever and would end the quest for this unsearchable thing. And then I realised everything will fade away and at last I really want is to die a really really slow death so that I won't feel the pain but only the passing away of life as I observe it. But we are all dying slowly aren't we. God has made everything perfect and everything is happening in the right way. If your mind is full of questions you need to grow and you'll see there's no need to worry at all, you are in safe hands embrace it.