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  • nyxneedsafix 47w

    This is legit just a weird drabble about a dream I had of a demon named Androdinas who stole time off my life, and made me feel really freaked out and watched when I woke up

    #Writer #writing #poem #poetry #writersnetwork #mirakee #demon #devil #dream #hell #time

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    Demon Dreams


    I dreamt of demons
    Ill-formed masses, with singular eyes
    Names, whispered, I'd dare not mention,
    For fear of being caught in lies
    And risk those most vile intentions
    In my dreams
    They spun webs of sugar silk,
    While stealing time from my peripheral edges
    Looked on with irises of silver milk,
    As old blood dripped from their maws and visage
    I was forced to stomach that stench
    Of rotting, fetid meat
    A reek so sweet, you might mistake it for crushed flowers
    Left to bake in the sun
    The hulking figures would lumber by,
    Breathe wetly down my spine, while I avoided that one, singular eye
    And in my ear, a little voice would whisper,
    I woke up fractured
    Gasps tearing through my chest and lungs
    Only for the memory to quickly fade
    Leaving me chilled, but by-in-large
    Except for the name
    Imprinted across my brain
    One never muttered to me in a waking, living day



  • nyxneedsafix 57w

    Don't ask me about love, dear

    I'm full of dead butterflies,
    And forget-me-now greys


  • nyxneedsafix 57w


    The thing is,
    You open your phone at 3am,
    Scroll passed all the people you talked to
    3 years ago,
    Or 3 weeks ago,
    3 minutes ago;
    But all meant about the same.
    And everyone's screaming,
    Singing symphonies about that party they all went to.
    About the fastest car they ever drove,
    And the way the last boy they kissed lips' tasted.
    And it's all-
    Neon red, white, magenta.
    Blaring, raging, Rock'n'roll.
    And suddenly all those grey days you've been wading through are like wet towels
    Draped across your mouth and nose,
    And you can't breathe for all the elevator music you've been listening to.
    Because it's just not fair.
    But the thing they forgot to mention,
    The disclaimer:

    We're all liars.


  • nyxneedsafix 57w

    Music Addict

    I'd drown myself in music,
    If only it were half as material as it felt, reverberating inside my chest.

    Empty out everything else I'm made of, and stuff all those new spaces with rock, and folk, and lilting violins.
    Cadences, wrapped and woven around a heart that beats to their tune.
    Regulating an otherwise erratic symphony of biology, to the measured tap of a finger or toe.
    Leaving me to feel unsettled and untethered; Adrift in those silent in-betweens, and quietly trickling thoughts.
    Hoping my lungs still know how to constrict on their own, without the metronome's reproachful tick.
    Waiting, with hitched breath, for the music to start again.

    I get shakes like an addict.
    Headaches like going through a withdrawal.
    The desire to blot out anything in my life that can't be filled in with a melody, or at least a quiet hum.
    I go too long on my own, without, and my temper trails behind me in oh-so-easily trodden upon lines of agitation.
    Sometimes I'll wear the headphones, just for that safe feeling of separation.
    That tiny, unspoken buffer, provided by the uncertainty, when no one knows whether you're listening or not.
    A steady presence, and a steady weight, and a steady shield of protection.
    And a preparedness, a readiness to hit play, and be free again of a reality I have no choice but to live;
    In the off moments of rests and pauses.


  • nyxneedsafix 57w

    I can feel my teeth;
    Rotting in my face.
    Feel my heart beat;
    Trying to finish the race.
    Feel the blood run,
    Underneath my skin.
    Hear my brain's whisper,
    To my heart, "You'll never win".

    Murmurs in the dark tell me,
    "Don't look under the bed".
    Thought I heard humming once,
    But let the dead be dead.
    Children laugh outside my window;
    I never leave my room.
    The other world's too warm for me,
    I'd rather face my doom

    From the inside.


  • nyxneedsafix 57w


    The shape of your form
    Your figure
    The firmness of your skin is a feeling
    Seared into the hollows of my palms
    And it Chafes
    The memory texture of your thighs
    Is like insects running underneath my skin
    And maybe
    Maybe they all have a purpose
    A hind brain that knows what it's doing
    But I don't want their order
    I want to cut them out
    Dissect the natural lines of my hands
    And squash them onto the table linens
    Get out

    I tried to draw you
    But I couldn't get your face
    I knew the contours of your legs
    The knobby shape of your knuckles and knees
    The freckled constellations across your shoulders
    Knew them intimately
    Like I knew the paths of my own mind-scape
    But your face
    Your face is like a color smear- No
    Your face is Agony
    Like jagged fractured edges with no cohesion
    I can't find the the beginnings or the ends
    Only that every time I try to put what I rationally know is
    In fact a human face
    To paper
    You're screaming
    Always screaming
    Scraped edges of fingernail streaks across
    the planes of your cheeks
    I don't know why
    To me

    You are a jagged edge

  • nyxneedsafix 57w


    I have this dog
    Who never forgot how it felt to starve
    Even though I carried her off the road when she was nothing more than a pup
    And I, only marginally bigger by design

    She never forgot what it was to be hollow
    And she never forgot how to defend her own
    And she never forgave

    So I have this dog with blood in her teeth,
    And flesh between her claws
    And sometimes when I look into the eyes of this dog, I see the puppy I cradled, and others, I see my sister's face when she told me about the nightmares she has
    About soft corpses and lolling eyes
    And this dog that I love snuffles wetly at my hand, and to me
    It all smells like copper
    And here is this dog with blue-milk eyes
    No longer the puppy with piercing brown
    And her muddy paws like she's been running through the graves we dug
    All because she never forgot what it was like to be hungry


  • nyxneedsafix 57w

    Smooth silk slide of sheets across thighs
    A revel in the night, for the loss of all those daytime butterflies
    A cold caress in dark emptiness is all I need to get me through the stress

    Of another dreary day


  • nyxneedsafix 57w


    Break yourself open on the edge of your apathy.
    Bleed for the mother who taught you tears were for throwaways.
    Weep for the father who taught you grief anyway.
    Cringe from the altar that taught you Sin was to love.
    Plead back to the grave from which you were drug.
    The womb was too cold,
    Like the waters they doused you with.
    The home was too empty,
    Like the well you drowned yourself in.

    Wretch your stomach dry, and start over again.

    Stitch yourself whole with the strings of your empathy.
    Learn to breathe warmth into limbs when you're lonely.
    Learn to be strong when others run empty.
    Be open to comfort when your heart's started bleeding.
    Build yourself a life around love's funny meanings.
    Wipe tears from cheeks,
    Whether yours or your neighbors.
    Listen to the earth,
    And all of her labors.

    Drink till your full, and breathe again.


  • nyxneedsafix 57w


    I wake up to the sunset,
    Sick off ill-spent time and my own unrest.
    Throw myself down the stairs just to get a running start on a day I already missed.
    Spend hours thinking of wasted minutes, and all the people I never kissed.
    Picking at fabric seams, and never really getting up to take a deep breath.
    Biding time till I can go back to bed and fall into that light, temporary death.

    Close my eyes to the sunrise,
    Suffer my own delusions of waking up at nine.
    Clinging to the covers, and all the darkness I can find, wishing to bury myself alive.
    Hoping I'll manage sleep with the light cut across my face like a razor blade, bleeding into my eyes.
    Dream for hours of stagnant waters, and sitting by the roadside,
    Never waving anyone over, cause I guess I'd rather die in the dirt than seem needy.

    I'll wake up tired and start over again