Take a closer look And you'll see How I spin for myself Endless perfidies And infinite catastrophes. The way I enjoy Collecting memories And bottling them up in jars That when break, Leak from my eyes. The way I fall asleep Joining stars in the sky Somehow scribbling My name and a faint little dream So close, yet so far. How I do not like tying My hair up in a bun But do it anyway, Or how the kohl under my eyes, Is mostly smeared. On days when the sky Is so pale that It resembles my face I like to sleep in early And wake up late Because sometimes When I cannot face my reality, I turn away. Take a closer look And you'll see How I've been hiding Stretch marks On my thighs and knees Or how I've traced Every wound on his body Onto my skin How I've grown tattoos On maps that once led to My now musty heart. Did you know That everything I've labelled As fiction Is a lie to the public And all this time I've just been scared Of accepting my misery Yet my first boyfriend Loved me the same. Do you know that sometimes, I comb my hair Without using the mirror Because everything that you've painted On my face, Scares me. On days when the ocean Is so blue That it parallels my eyes, I cry But my sobs are as muffled As your silence. Is it too soon to tell you, That the dried up ink On torn pages Was never Just ink And the torn pages Were not Just pages. Is it comforting for you to know That like you Others have been benighted too And the girl that you see Smiling at you Was never me. Would it pinch you That you could not know me At all And now you can't Even if you want to Because I'm long gone.