pappushin

Love playing with words ❤

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  • pappushin 13w

    Destiny

    Atimes - i weary as a traveler ,
    Peer into the world which is sound asleep.
    Pondering - will my late nights pay me,
    Or will i be disoriented form my PATH.

    ©pappushin

  • pappushin 14w

    Overthinking.

    I am an immortal voice that lingers in your mind 24/7.
    I am a road which never ends.
    Once you step in my realm, there's no way out.

    I will seize your siesta, your catnap and your beauty sleep.
    Dip you in the ocean of depression.
    Hang you in the tree of anxiety.

    But trust me i won't let you die.
    Instead i'll make "you against yourself ".
    I will give you reasons to hurt yourself but not to kill.
    I will give you the reasons to love death,
    But not the valor to face it.

    I will stay in your heart - your mind - your soul - every ounce of you.
    I will engulf your dreams,
    Leave you with rubbish memories.
    Burn your soul in hell fire.

    I will bring up your past.
    Give you worst predictions of your future.
    And talk about how shitty your present is.

    Trust me baby girl - " I won't leave you. "
    I will be there for you when no one is.
    I am devil in earth for you - "well how sweet your blood tastes".
    I will make you pick that razor blade a million and one times.
    Yet i am not done.

    I am not done.
    I am happy to see you blaming yourself for-
    What happened, for what's happening and for what will happen.

    I will make you bleed,cry and scream,
    Until your voice pleads yourself not to do so.
    I will be there for you when no one is.
    You will beg for my absence but,
    I won't leave you.

    ©pappushin

    Idk y bt smtyms i just love writing things that makes sense to no one except me. ❤

  • pappushin 14w

    Voice of Indian Gorkha

    With more than 200 years of history,
    We have been living here.
    Not only in northeastern India,
    We are spread far and wide in all parts of my Bharat.
    We are Indians before belonging to any community or tribe or whatsoever.

    Every morning we too sing the national anthem in schools with full "josh".
    Celebrate 15th August with Pride.
    We love Tiranga more than anything else,
    "Aur Jai Hind bolnae me sabse jyada proud feel hota hae. "

    We join you in theaters, cheer up our country in every cricket match.
    "Ye sab dikhawa nahi hae"
    We do this because -
    "Ye humari vi mitti hae yaar".

    We celebrate "Raksha-bandhan" and "Bhai-tika",
    Our brothers with two prayers of protection a year and we- with two gifts.

    Now don't get me wrong -
    By using words like- "You and we",
    I am not creating a difference.
    It's just that some days ago,
    I noticed rude comments on social media.

    The comments said:
    "Ye nepali larki humare yahan 500 rupees ki milti hae".
    "Chinki ankh wale, go back to Mt. Everest...... "

    Well i don't... We don't belong to Everest or whichever corner of the world.

    This "You" is personified to all those who denys the fact that we are Indian.

    Dear "you",
    Tere kehene se kuch farak nahi padta.
    I am an Indian Gorkha.
    A proud Indian.
    I studied education provided by Bharat.
    Thikha, mitha jo vi khate hae yehi ka khate hae.
    I lived and i will die in this rich mitti.

    This piece is voice of every Indian Gorkha, who is proud to be one,but still faces racism.
    "Jai Hind"❤


    ©pappushin

  • pappushin 15w

    A poem or story - you decide.

    Once upon a time, there was "she".
    She- was like any other playful Child.
    She- love chocolates, barbie dolls.
    She- learned all the 26 alphabets;
    And would read them out loud in every family gatherings,to her uncle, aunt, grandparents.
    She- would die for sweets.
    That was the introduction of "she".
    Now let's see what happens next.

    One day Chacha bought chocolates- alot of them.
    But chacha made a deal;
    "Deal - she was asked to play with chacha"
    She- happily agreed(like who literally would refuse chocolates) without a second thought.
    She- was six you know(who even has a second thought at this age).
    From now onwards chacha came;
    He came almost every other day until she turned eight.
    In two years she became a brave child,
    She talked to her mom about everything chacha have been doing to her.
    Mom scolded chacha- that's when chacha stopped coming.
    But mom asked "she" to be QUIET;
    Even infront of papa- be quiet.
    She- kept quiet, although her mind was full of terror - QUIET.
    And this is how it ends, i mean this is the end of this so called - poem or story.

    She- grew up watching fairy tales,
    With "happily ever after ".
    She-who danced in rain, now shuts herself from the world.
    She-who loves chocolates, now fears the person who offers her.
    She- who enjoyed every second of her life,
    Now don't want to take the next breath.
    She- now realized - not every story has happy ending.

    ©pappubasant

  • pappushin 16w

    Dear stranger

    Do you have a moment to spare?
    Let us have some small talks.
    It's not that I don't have friends to talk with,
    It's just that-i don't see the world in the way they do.
    And the pain in your eyes, is comparable to mine.
    Let us talk about life,
    Just tell me what you went through,
    I'll share you my burdern too.

    Dear Stranger, i just want a moment of your life.
    We can gossip about your first love,
    I'll tell you how sweet was my first kiss.
    Let us talk about something - about anything,
    Anything nice that makes me forget my past,
    That makes your face brighter.

    Let us talk - i can see Anxiety right behind me,
    Before it grabs me, swallows every piece of me- Please Stranger, just have a seat and listen to me. ❤


    ©pappubasant

    On days when i feel low, i just want someone to listen to what i am going through.
    Hope it relates to you guys a little ❤

  • pappushin 16w

    Teen love thoughts

    I just wanna spend my whole life with you,
    And all those years which i'll be spending with you, will be full of love.

    Will have our favorite dishes,
    Will brush our teeth together,
    Will roam together.
    When you are sad, i'll make you feel better,
    When you are happy i'll join your laughter.

    Our day will start by sweet little kisses,
    And together we will wash our clothes and dishes.
    Will be watching that night sky from the same window,
    And i kno you'll always be there to make me smile when i feel low.

    With you my bae,
    Everyday would be a new day.
    Happily ever after - "you and me".

    ©pappubasant

    I found this letter on my old notes, i wrote this a couple of years ago for my first love and was too shy to give it to him.
    My writings were too childish back then.
    But this letter brought tears to my eyes, i remember all those moments spent with him.
    How fast time passed, what are we now?
    First love is always so pure and selfless ❤

  • pappushin 17w

    Vanity

    Be a lady, or a bitch;
    An introvert or extrovert.
    Be a lesbian, straight or bisexual.
    But don't ever follow those stupid guys quotes which says 'Girls look real and preety without makeup '.
    It's your face, your body;
    If you love your face with makeup that's fine.
    If you like your legs with shorts, that's just great.
    It's Okay to have girl crush.
    Just vanity and self love - Greatest medicine .

    ©pappubasant


    Just chill and take yourself on a date.... It's really fun.... Atleast you can enjoy all the food yourself .
    It's just fun to be alone❤

  • pappushin 17w

    To be Depressed

    Morning - the biggest nightmare,
    And night - i always have date with insomnia.
    My body feels like a heavy piece of raw-dead meat.
    Eyes sunken or swollen - i know nothing;
    I don't even know why am i crying.

    Anxiety eating me up,
    Like a black hole not sparing any light of hope in me.
    Endless self-harm scars,
    Even my hands pleads me not to do so.
    I don't know who commands me;
    My mind or heart or
    "ugh! I'm over thinking again"
    "Over thinking! " I would bang my head;
    But still i don't know what the fuck is going on in my mind.
    The past replays again and again,

    Sometimes i just wonder why would someone live a life like this- like hell.
    "It's much better there- six feet under".
    And numerous failed suicide attempts,
    They are all failed attempts because;
    I..... I just don't have the courage to die,
    So i just live- with a small hope which i saved from the world.

    ©pappubasant

    Mmm i write about being alone or about depression... Because i feel like this relates to me and to a lot more people.
    I just feel happy wen i let all my thoughts out on a paper,
    It makes me forget the world and get into a different place of imagination.
    Mmm i wrote what i feel like sharing, i hope it was worth reading❤

  • pappushin 17w

    Dear First Love

    A year was too less for me.
    It was a love of Madness;
    And we still had lots to do,
    Go for a long evening walks.
    Do you remember we didn't have an ice-cream date either,
    Nor did we get clear view of night sky(together).
    Dat dream to wake-up in your arms remained just a dream.

    First love- First guy i ever holded hands with.
    My first date(though it was a little embarrassing),
    "And- oh my gosh! I am blushing "
    I will never forget my first kiss- it was just magical.

    You know what - every moment i spent with you was special.
    I still have that chocolate wrapper - of the chocolate dat you gifted me.
    And not to mention that first photograph with you -which was a treasure to be hidden from my parents, i still have that.
    I haven't deleted all those late night records.

    Though we aren't together, you are special;
    Your memories are special.
    You gave me that innocent childlike-love memories,
    And no one can take that little place you have occupied in my heart❤

    ©pappubasant

  • pappushin 18w

    Dear different people(like me).
    I just wanna let you know that you are not alone.
    So try to live... And fight them(depression,anxiety and all other beings that takes your peace)
    You'll beat all of them someday❤


    ©pappubasant