I don’t know.
You came to me with wit and memes,Sass and understanding,Friendship and double texts like me. I felt like I should open up, Since I was invited in and brought under the wing you extended. But I guess my wings were like wax and feathers, Icarus has nothing on me. I did fall,Hard, naively, and fully. Something I haven’t done in maybe four years. I should’ve stayed on the ground. ©paraglidingintotheabyss
Dreams of a better world
Pendulums swing, But when you’re in the calm, you forget which side you started on, and which you’re heading to. I feel like I was in a deep slumber, and all the gongs of the grandfather clock have woken me up and opened my eyes to what is truly in the world, and not just my pleasant dreams. I woke and started telling people it was fine, recounting those dreams because they were my reality. Their skeptical looks confused me, for I did not understand. I’m starting to, my eyes are open and have lost the sand and grit of those dreams. They are open, and they are wet with tears as I see the horrors in the waking world. Yet we strive to make the life we’re given better for those after us. But that requires drive and hope and resilience. And I am tired, and hope hurts, and I am glue not rubber-nothing bounces off me anymore, lest I relay dreams once more. How can we stay awake? when the world is so sad and angry and dangerous and scary? How can we go back to sleep? when we know to do so would be to abandon those we guard with our love and care?So we must be in ever vigilant limbo, holding onto hope and never forgetting torment. All I want to do is sleep once more, But that is not really what I want. What do I really want? I want everyone to have such beautiful stories to share, that we start to wonder if we’ve slipped into a dream. ©paraglidingintotheabyss
Why do I care?Why do I reach for the messages as if they’re the drops of waters keeping me from dying in a desert? Barely known,yet connected still. I hate this. I hate you. But I don’t. Cause you didn’t do anything wrong. Maybe it’s simply myself that I hate. Happy birthday.
Green is my favorite color,I wear it often. Seeing those around me living,breathing, being free. And yet I only ownone green shirt. ©paraglidingintotheabyss
Just your daily reminderOther people are not your free therapist.
All we can do is shout into the abyss,And both pray for and against an answer.
One best friend is living a dream. She married her high school sweetheart, They’ve only been with each other. They fought hard to stay together when shit got tough,But they’ve found their way. They’re happy. Another best friend found the love of her life, Over 3000 miles away in a chat room. They’ve been together 10 years and continue to grow and support each other, through thick and a lot of thin. They’re a team who often host me and let me cry on their couch. Another best friend has the internship of her dreams. She’s young, single for the first time in her adult life,And squeezing life by the balls to enjoy every second on this planet she has. Another best friend met her man at work,And he was so excited to ask her out when he put in notice,That he took her out the night of his last shift andHas hardly left her bed since. So you see,I believe in the exceptions. I know that the fairy tales exist,Like the ones in my books. But-I sincerely doubt I’ll get my book©paraglidingintotheabyss
Weeping at rock chicks
When does the lonely stop?When do I stop weeping at romance novels,Longing for things not meant for the likes of me?When do I accept my lot:Great friend, great lover, not good enough to be a partner. Does it get easier? Do I get better being singular?Don’t get me wrong,I’ve plenty of platonic loves that I would lay my life down for. But once, just once, I want to be treasure of the highest order. ©paraglidingintotheabyss
Please let go. Don’t be my friend. Don’t reach out. Don’t spark joy. It’s too much right nowTo have the promise of it yankedAnd to expect easy letting go. Because I let you in,And that’s rare. So I wish I hadn’t. But I wish I had. ©paraglidingintotheabyss
I can’t believeyou remembered