I never been this content in my own company. It's the feeling being finally home & complete. This journey of doubting, hating, mistreating & hurting myself has ended now. From losing to finding again, it has been tough .I'm the person who Will be standing & fighting, crying & breaking, loving & caring. I'm everything, I was searching & wandering for, in the world of Chaos. I finally made it home. #JourneyOfSelfLove
#series101 To the pathetic sperms out there, You live in 2020, you speak about women empowerment and yet it is appalling for you to accept that . You think women who approach men first, are desperate for love. You immature human, grow up.
You make me sad. And I'm not the one who likes to blame someone for my miseries. But you really do make me feel so worn out. Like I'm fighting an uphill battle with every breath. Like I'm struggling to love myself. Every moment that I'm with you, I wish I wasn't there. I wish I could run away somewhere. I see a pot of boiling sewage above your head. It spills and keeps you drenched. And I struggle to smile through the stench. You make me sad. Very very sad. Hopless about my existence and helpless about my life. I feel worthless despite my achievements, because no matter how much I try, it's never enough for you to say, even for once... that I am your pride. You make me sad. I feel unlovable. Invisible. Yet I try to love you. Because I know, only broken people break others.
Things had grown strange. One day I was so in love with you... the very next, you felt like an obligation. Something I couldn't abandon, only because I was considerate of your emotions. One day I'd find myself praying and fighting for this love. Staying up all night, crying and cursing... struggling with silences and words. The very next day, I l'd wake up cold and callous. Pulling away, not just from you... but anything and everything, that'd serve as a reminder that I have a heart too. One day I'd find myself holding a firm resolution that I belong to you and no one else. That I shall wait for you... until the end of eternity, if needed. The very next day, I'd find myself longing to fall in love again, with someone else. The constant push and pull, the ambivalence and uncertainty of us... had taken a toll on this love. I had started to find myself being content without you. Maybe numb. But for sure, not longing, not hurting as much as I used to. I had surrendered. Finally bowed down. And started to give myself reasons to have a life without you. For months, I had been trying to teach myself, the art of letting go... and finally the results had begun to show.