They carelessly tell me, "Feel the fear and do it anyway" But, can they even fathom How unbearable it is? Living day to day Wide awake in a nightmare Drowning on dry land Can they possibly imagine Gasping each breath With a vice grip, clamping Crushing your lungs shut Gulping stale air Like a fish out of water Cramming down Harmless threats Irrational thoughts of panic Filling to the brim Heartbeat pounding Frantic, drastic And everyone around you Floating, Treading rips effortlessly Is yelling at you to swim
Now you see me Now you don't Say a word I live to serve Think me a chameleon I'll blend, bend Shapeshift to any form Mould myself like clay Here one minute Gone today Watch me transform
Like a marvelous magician Leaving you captivated, amazed Vanishing into thin air As quickly as she came Like a mystical genie I'll reappear in a puff of smoke As soon as you command my name Tell me who you wish me to be I'll happily comply Crowd appeaser, people pleaser Anything to evoke the peace "See you here" "Meet me there" Yes, I'll certainly oblige
Call me a miraculous magic act Pull myself from a hat Keep you second guessing Without a single inkling I am nothing but a trick of light Fooling your naive eyes
Illusions are possible If you have the power to believe And I am one of them
Why must you insist On taming the beast inside When there are wild flames Dancing behind darker eyes A wildfire heart Roaring to be freed Riverbends birthed Rouge in the bloodstream Racing pulse pulls To run with the wolves Overgrown woods scream To be unearthed Nature sprouting, thriving Untouched, submersed Why must we protest Bounding ourselves in chains When the strong call of wilderness Howls deep in our veins
For the longest time I was held in a dreamlike state Your rapture shook me awake Captured erratic storms inside Stirred my static soul alive And just as suddenly Laid me back to rest After your cruel departure I've never felt More dead to the world At the hands of your murder
This is not my city Once so rustic and pretty A timely feel Unscathed and untouched Harbouring such fond memories No, this isn't the town I grew Everything is now shiny Chrome and new Too much and yet not enough My nostalgia long buried In the destruction and demolition My childhood lost to the ruins Somehow built into The modern refurbishment Made way for new settlement Bigger and better establishment I resent what my home has become A concrete jungle is no place For someone like me to belong I yearn to return to the pavements Take a stroll down memory lane To recognize the old streets If only for a day again...
Perhaps I'm a force too strong For anyone to possibly come close I may attract, but instead of pulling I propel and repel them back Because they can't break through My powerful magnetic field Anything and everything In my path, yields destroyed So, I become this sole atom Destined to be alone Lost to the endless void .
I try to find myself in poems Both other's and my own Is it possible I've wasted time Trapped in the confines Of my fragile mind Has the blind search been in vain Each day growing weak A dangerous game Of hide and seek
Who will discover All I've failed to uncover Because I am tired Of frantically scouring my words Perpetually edging Between two worlds What I've already typed And all I still wish to write Someone piece together Every trace I've complied Before this case turns cold Come up with your own answer To the mystery I've yet to solve
I feel terribly homesick In my own hometown Nostalgic waves of euphoria Violently wash over me Flashes of a familiar face Revisiting each deserted place Leaving me to ponder Was any of it ever real? Or, simply a wishful mirage Of future's past beforehand For I find myself wistfully lost Among today's utopian wasteland Like a forgotten ghost I wander Left in this city of ruins Beyond ever changing towers Crowds of strangers Only pass through me now I'm just fading into the background
Sometimes the world gets too loud and the soul too quiet.
Anxiety is a real deal. It is as real as the world around us. And what is terrifying about it (apart from the fact that it can plunge you into a bottomless darkness) is it's unpredictability. While some are fortunate enough to know what triggers it, some like me are not. You don't see it coming. You don't feel it creeping up on you. And by the time the world starts weighing down on you, it's too late. And the only thing left for you to do is feel doomed and find something that will help you to hang on until the whole things passes. Writing for me is one such thing.
People should understand that mental health is a real deal. And that it's not always "in the head".
#dedicate it to @kublakhan as I read his post and it came to me. Friend, you will be missed dearly by all I'm sure. I'm honored you tagged and let me know that you are leaving, but I'm sure you have a pressing issue that you need to take care of. Take care #16219#you#hunter#lost#puzzle#amour