• ink_in_my_blood 6w

    @mirakeeworld @mirakee @writersnetwork

    My mother thinks that anxiety is "No big deal."
    My doctor said, "Dont worry about it, it'll go away on its own."
    Apparently getting your periods regularly is more important than your mental state.
    My hands are icy cold and I can't breathe.
    My head is spinning and my bed has swallowed me.
    I'm done trying to ask for help.
    As tremors pass through every single vein,
    I hold on to my pillow so that I dont wake my dad up.
    He's rarely seen my cry and I intend to keep it that way.
    One time, he drove me 23 kilometers in the crack of dawn,
    Because he saw me cry.
    I'm not going to put him through that again;
    Even though he cheated on my mother,
    Making this a perfect opportunity to add a little extra stress in his life.
    Would things have been different if I was good enough?
    I can't help think about how I've failed as a daughter,
    Although I get good grades.
    I've failed as a sister,
    Although I've kept him safe.
    I've failed as a student,
    Passing my tests isn't enough anymore.
    I've failed as a friend,
    I'm way too immature.
    I can see my back in the mirror,
    A little different that the rest of the world,
    I can see the words carved into me,
    Leaving ghastly scars that spell out various things -
    Things that make me who I am.
    This one is carved so deep that I can see my spine.
    Bleeding out.
    C.H.I.L.D.
    I want to go back to feeling normal again,
    To be able to take my dictionary,
    And not find all the words that society uses to define me.
    Often, sobriety is taken for granted.
    You go one month without turning back,
    To find yourself coming back full circle.
    The road to freedom isn't an easy task.
    It's a battle,
    With yourself.
    And victory isn't forever, it too shall pass.
    Only to find yourself again on the road to relapse.

    ©ink_in_my_blood

    Read More

    Often, sobriety is taken for granted.
    You go one month without turning back,
    To find yourself coming back full circle.
    The road to freedom isn't an easy task.
    It's a battle,
    With yourself.
    And victory isn't forever, it too shall pass.
    Only to find yourself again on the road to relapse.


    ©ink_in_my_blood