• fatima_roomi 10w

    Dear Abba,

    It has been 18 years of my life and here I am writing my first letter to you! I know I am late, yet I know that you'll forgive me this time again, like you do it everytime, for in the roughly armoured and in tough covers is a soft and a warm heart, in the very deep end of which, I'll always find love, forgiveness and worries. A lot of worries. This isn't a thankyou letter Abba, I dare not write so, for every feeling can be expressed, every word can be exhausted, yet I won't be able to thank you enough.
    So, let's just stroll together, down the memory lane, breaking the chains and shackles of time. I may not remember my infancy, yet I know how my first steps might have ushered excitements in your heart. I may not remember my first words, yet I know the great exuberance with which you might have told to every one about it. Abba, these were the unconscious unknown moments that became our strongest threads.
    For in tranquility, if I close my eyes, I can still feel lying in your arms, and Jagjit Singh's ' yeh daulat bhi le lo, ye shauhrat bhi le lo' echoing in the room. If I close my eyes I can still feel your hand making my braid, as I complain about too much hair oil.
    For everyone saying that you don't express love, I would say, I have seen it and felt it the most unusual and in the purest way ever. When you chose to be quiet and supportive in the times when everyone talked about my low grades, when you chose to protect me behind my back when Amma complained about me, was the time I felt it. When you chose to buy just one more frock for me at the expense of your shirt, when you looked at all of us, comforting us in the times of pains and forgetting your own wide open agonising wound, was the time I felt this love reverberating more than ever.

    I can never, in my entire existence, count on upon the relentless sacrifices that you made, what's bigger than self- denyingly, throwing away your whole life, burning and exhausting it in our names, what's bigger than abandoning your own dreams to give life and water to our budding dreams and passion.

    I know you see yourself, your unfulfilled dreams in me. Abba, I promise to be a better and a worthy daughter. I promise to live for you, like since the very beginning you were living for us.
    Ya Rabb, make me proficient enough to bring back every lost dream and desire my father deliberately left on his way while making us to what we are today.
    Happy Father's Day, guardian angel.

    Ever Yours.

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    I was a part of the book, "To, My Vivid Dream Catcher."
    It is an anthology of open letters from daughters to fathers.