• swapnajeevi 51w

    The first day in school, walking admist the unfamiliar faces, I was finding my way to the last row of benches. Stumbling upon a bag, I fell down. The faces around me started laughing. That was the first day I experienced fear, or rather a feeling of being noticed. Growing up, mamma told me to always fear God. So each time I steal the last bar of choclate or each time I swore, I said a silent sorry to the power which I feared. As I grew up, my fear too grew with me. I was scared to look at my reflection in mirror, I was scared to fear my favorite dress, I was scared to come up in a stage, I was scared to choose paths that was different. I was scared to be different. Studies turned out to be only about grades and talent turned out to be just credits.I started being scared of the grades that made ots way to my report card. A red line under any one subject could be enough to wipe my existence off this earth.
    Years later in college, walking past the college ground, I remembered all thoss dreams, I left behind. The girl who joined school, wanted to be everything she can. Her dreams were high. But today, I see a young lady, running behind absolute nothing. Staring at the void in front of me, I understood that its okay to score less at times, its okay to try that sport which you liked, its okay to take a break at times, its okay not being able to satisfy everyone all the time. All this time, I was scared about the consequences, without even trying. Fear had consumed a part of me. But that day I deceided to rise from my ashes.
    I didn't know the result. Neither did I know the path. I knew it was going to be a difficult one, but a happy one too. Because years from now, a high paid job isn't going to give you all the happiness you want if you are scared inside.

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