I fight the voice in my head. I fight it with all my strength. I don't know what it says. My consciousness fights the sub-conscious in order to deny the negativity. In order to fight the cryptic demons revelling in the backdoor of my head. Feeding upon my memories. Twisting and turning with my strings of sanity.
They fight me back. They are potent. Do I grant them the potency? I don't know. Do I fight back? On most days...yes. But on some nights the darkness of the calignosity seeps within me. Seeps deep within, birthing malicious thoughts. The moon turns away for she can't protect me from myself. She sobs. And looks away. And that's when the lights go out!
The unbeknownst entanglements emerge into the light of the evil. This is when the sobriety of my consciousness kicks in.
Phase 1: what is really evil?
It toys around in my head. Pulls a thread here and there. Tangles the known. Entangles the worse of it. The consciousness shuts up. The authority and command fade away in the loneliness.
Phase 2: the spiral
Self hatred grows out of the ground. The malignancy of my head for myself breeds in the waking dusk of being lost. It hurts. I don't know where. But it does. Consciousness again tries to fight. It feels weak. It stands defeated in the inferno of darkness.
Phase 3: I give in
I don't see what's in the darkness. I don't understand the composure. Some say that dark matter in the universe is love. I know it's not. Love doesn't look like that. This isn't even a rose with thorns. It's ruthless. And I trickle down belittled.