• reighus 9w

    Venting Process

    This feeling in my bones,this tempting feeling that aches in my soul, I wish it would go, because honestly I just hang on to hope, knowing if I hope to much than things will go an spiral, but I don't know what else to hold on to, I hold on to god but commit sins like addict I've had it, I'm 20 an flipping out, my whole personal jumped to 0 to a 100, an im between feeling so fake but feeling so real deep down, an I wish it all would come out, cuz I'm to damaged by my actions that I've made an it's it holding me down, I'm at a point of letting go but I know that I got future to grab ahold. Can't even sleep at night because I'm scared of tomorrow, like what if God comes that day an I won't be able to make it because I'm still stuck in the same place, like I know God is love an won't let me down but I'm crashing myself so bad that I can barely stand the crowd, I trust God an I really love him I owe him everything for saving my life so many times. I don't have a job or a good life not saying it should be perfect just right for me where this doesn't pop up anytime, I blame myself for this, ain't even Gods fault, I feel every plan he had for me everyday I flip an default, crazy because Ik what I'm doing Wich is why am the way that I'm feeling, I just pray that God forgives me. Because at the end of the day it's me an God an what decision of choice I will make,to go to God or take the fall with hell that already awaits, I love who I am as a man but dang, I hate the drama but cuz alot of it some days, now days I wish all my stress would fade away, all the drama an thoughts in my brain that keep my heart locked away, so paranoid that I can't see the light of day, so musically inclined with a gift I hold in a safe.