I Was Ready
I was ready to sink deep into the darkness of my mind, the faint light becoming dimmer and dimmer with every downward stroke into the cool wet desire to sink more and more. I was ready to fall faster and feel the air burn in my lungs as I took the step off the cliff from waiting for no one to rescue me. I was ready to silently scream from the weight of my heart and have not a single soul hear my plea. After all, if a heart breaks in a fractured ribcage and no one is around to care does it really make a sound? I was ready for all of the heartbreak, I was ready for the anxiety, the depression. I was ready to start hurting over and over until all I felt were the slippery burgundy numbnesses between each and every finger. But I was not ready for you to love me more. To be patient with me through every breakdown. To hold me and never let me go. I was not ready to finally not fall to pieces after wanting to shatter. You took the disaster and pieced me back together with the only thing I have never help in my heart before. And suddenly... I was ready to feel loved again.