• allbymyself 6w

    You tell me simple things.

    Like walking to the bus stop alone when you were five years old. It was natural for you because mother was never at home. She had to be in the hospital at all times because in her own words, "I want to see you grow up and go to college, Amaris. The doctors tell me this is the only way to make that happen."

    And Papa had to work for twelve hours a day, seven days a week in the coal mines to put milk and bread on the table. Your eyes well up when you talk about him. He said that this was no way for a child to live. "Do you have friends, Amaris?", he would ask you. And you didn't know why, but you lied and said Yes.

    You tell me simple things.

    Like walking to the hospital three miles away when you were twelve. Mother looked different, her breath was shallow and her voice barely a whisper. She asked you to hold her hand and you did. "Amaris, I won't be there to see you grow up. But your Papa will. Promise me you will make him proud."
    And after that, death wasn't just a word.

    You never saw Papa cry, and you wondered why. You asked him one day if he ever truly loved mother, and a bridge seemed to collapse under his eyes. And you had your answer. He had never taken a holiday in his life but he promised to be there on the day you graduated from college.

    You tell me simple things.

    Like the day Papa never came home, and you could see your world crumbling in front of your eyes. But a few days passed, and then, a few months. And though your life always seemed to be on the precipice, it didn't go over the edge. You ended up graduating, but neither mother or papa were there. And that lie of twelve years ago, it wasn't a lie any longer.

    You tell me simple things. And I turn them into stories. When you ask me why, I always say "Because you survived. And if that doesn't mean anything, I don't know what does."

    - Avitaj

    @greypages_ @dopamine

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    Her eyes look sharp and steady
    Into the empty parts of me.

    - Foreigner's God, Hozier