do you have words that haunt you some time between can-be and can-not?
the barely-there but ever-present limbo between what-if and shit-what-have-i-done?
thing is, for a long time now -
i've learnt not to question things i do not want answers to
i've learnt to let buried bodies corrode away while i plant white lilies on the soil above it - i'll put one for the body underneath and i'll pray for it
i've taught myself the art of pretend
i'll have my house on fire
but i will not run
i will only see the lilies i've planted
i survive on delusion
because truth is bitter and bitter things make me bitter -
delusion is like cotton candy on rotten teeth
and i will still eat off it.