You still feel guilty about what you did. I don't know how to react to this. You want to talk to me but you're afraid to get too attached again. You're afraid to help me put the pieces of my soul back again after you broke it for the third time. You're afraid to say sorry, yet you say it anyway and you mean it more than all the i love yous you said to me. I forgive you, not because I love you but because I can't stand anger. It burns me up. It adds to the fiery fire inside me that leaves me to ashes. And I can put pieces back but not ashes. I am no phoenix. I'm just a little firefly caught up in love.
And I can't stand being around you anymore without being yours. Your cologne still enchants me. Your eyes still hold my breath. Yes, It hurts but I forgive you anyway. I let you go a long time back but a part of me still doesn't believe I did. A part of me still wants you to come home. And that's part of me which keeps me alive. I give that part of me your name. It's you for whom I don't die because I know you could never handle the idea of death.
You're the most beautiful thing ever happened to me. I wish I could hug you all over again like any of this never happened. Like you never broke my heart. Like you never went too far. Like you never said those hurtful things. Like you never felt guilty about what you did to me. Like you were never the mariner and I was never the innocent albatross.
I don't know how long it will take for that part of me to accept that you're gone and you'll never come back and I've accepted it. But that part of me will always keep weaving poetries for you. It'll always keep me close to home where all my hopeful metaphors will still breathe under those melancholic memories of us we have.
Yours charm _firefly
The line on the bg is from the song " Writer in the dark"