14th December, 2020
Guess why I'm so pumped? 'Cos it's dead silent outside, punctuated only by the pitter patter of an unseasonal December mizzle, and it's blasting music inside my ears. The air is frigid, but my soul has been thumping, my toes have been twitching and my fingers have been tapping word after word after listening to the same song for the nth time.
Music is trance. It's a myth that people assume meditation as sitting crosslegged under the Bodhi Tree or the yoga mat waiting for enlightenment to envelop them like a blanket of calmness. My happy hour of meditation is when I'm washing a sinkful of vessels with Alexa for company. The peppier the song, the shinier the outcome. Infact, what was once a dreadful task has turned into therapy, just with a shift of perspective and the right song.
I don't have many favourites. Whenever a particular song knocks at my heart, I welcome the fella and play it over and over and over until I subconsciously remember each pause between its beats, every timbre, every texture. Often, I play the same song for weeks on end, until I don't stumble upon a new one to replace it with. I'm kinda passive and resistant when it comes to discovering new music. They have to come find me .
Music is a powerful mood changer. It can lift us up and also hurl us into the pit of despair with equal ease. Ever made the mistake of listening to a blue song when you've been feeling kinda grey all over? Bummer. Over time, I developed a rule of sorts, for myself. I generally listen to music which sits at the opposite spectrum of my current mood. So, if I'm feeling low, I'd play something with a beat and a thump. And only if I'm feeling high or atleast stable, would I dare to play something soft, sad or delicate.
It was only this year that I discovered Baroque music. Too often, I do not know the names of these artists I'm listening to. Later I end up realizing that I just heard Bach or Beethoven . I find Baroque music really effective in channeling my focus, to swiftly enter the state of flow, when ideas and thoughts start humming in my ears and I can isolate them, swat them with a mosquito bat and smash them onto paper.
I also have a secret playlist of songs that particularly remind me of you. I reserve them only for occasional use, for those moments of loneliness when I want to escape into you. I plug the pods into my ear, turn off the lights and there you are, a fuzzy silhouette, inviting me into your welcoming arms. Quite filmy, no?
I don't consider myself as one with any particular knowledge or taste in music. I don't even know the difference in its genres. I only know how to use it to as a tool to hypnotise myself to a better state of mind. I only how to use it as a countdown timer to breeze through chores. I only know how to shut the windows, crank up the volume, take off my shirt and forget that the world exists for the next 3 and a half minutes. What a rush!
And I only know Hozier.
I'm heavily influenced by his art. The rawness in his music, the meaning to his words, his poetic intelligence, his haunting voice, his honesty, his humility. And his hair that looks just like mine . His music is my standby, my go to, to whenever I want to feel edgy and 'woke'. I am too ignorant to lavish the right adjectives, but his music has an edge that cuts through my lethargy and I feel driven to rise like a wounded lioness.
What is your equation with music? It's really hard to come up with right words to describe its magic, ain't it? I can only think of this quote by Aldous Huxley, which sums it up beautifully. "After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music."