I do not sleep
My inhibitions lowered.
The silence started to eat me alive.
I could hear the overwhelming stillness
Of the profound quite.
In this moment of chaotic peace,
I turn around in my bed restlessly,
With constant thoughts beckoning at me.
Thoughts of words,
Thoughts of names,
Thoughts of bonds,
Thoughts of self hate,
Arising from the deepest secret feelings.
Feelings that betray me.
Feelings that leave me astray.
I do not sleep.
I close my eyes but I do not sleep.
I dream but I do not sleep.
I wake up even but not from sleep.
It's both a blessing and a curse,
This bittersweet existence of
Self destruction and rebirth.