• thornyrosee 5w

    you won :)

    i loved you, you knew

    i made sure you knew

    and went a couple extra miles

    just so you could see how much

    you watched me fall for you and you let me

    knowing very well I'd end up here

    but you didn't only watch

    see you kept reeling me to

    maybe it was my stubborn self

    wanting to do the only thing im good at

    or maybe it was

    the random texts of reassurance

    the long phone calls

    or the songs you'd send me because

    you thought I'd like them

    maybe it was the promises

    maybe it's the way you kissed me

    maybe it's the way you smiled at me,

    the way you looked at me

    that made me want to give you the world

    my world.

    my mistake.

    I should have seen it

    there were so many subliminal messages

    that I archived because you kept

    feeding me all these things 

    that i kept opening up to take in because

    I'm "understanding", I'm "different" 

    but look at me now, life is funny isn't it

    A part of me saw this coming

    that i can't deny

    I'd zone out and watch myself drown

    but come back to reality and still jump

    The child in me!

    you played so well I forgot it was a game,

    at least for you

    a game of going and coming because

    you knew you had that kind of access to me

    again, my mistake. 

    but now I'm finally here,

    successfully putting my mind and heart

    on the same page literally since they…

    they can't cofunction 

    at least not in the same body

    at least not right now

    so I hope you remember

    how excited I always was to hear from you,

    how i throw gang signs when I'm trying

    to explain myself,

    how my body reacted to yours,

    I hope you remember my favourite songs,

    I hope you remember how to laugh at me

    cause I'm an airhead or cause I'm a 4'5" USB

    but most of all

    I hope you know that I have no regrets.

    it was very brave of me

    to vulnerably lay my not so furnished self out

    to let myself give and feel

    what most people

    are scared to feel and for that,

    I'll put this out there too

    This is not my villain story.

    i'll forever be that girl 

    annoyingly stubborn, full of so much love

    (maybe a bit bipolar)

    so this one time,

    I hope you know that

    you won :)