My journey is convoluted beyond my expectations. The solution I've mapped out betrays me to make it worse. Things I have planned with utmost zest got changed in the moment where one may call it good or bad depending on the situation.
I called mine a disaster since I failed to gain new traction in life to help me go on. Initially, I got lost in my ambition which I'd say it's a 'positive lost' because the zeal got me pumping and running. Gradually, I got lost in the process but now that things aren't working out, I am lost in thing we called 'failure' and I find that the old dictum 'Never give up' becomes way harder to accept than it was told. I guess saying such a thing comes out naturally to everyone but the harder it is for the recipient when they have people being dependent on them. But for me, I look at my parents and feel the urge to go on despite my sorry state. Though no amount of empathy may make me feel better and no matter how empty it may sound, it's always good the hear that things will work out when the time is right. So for now, I'm allowed to feel lost, I'm allowed to feel the reality dismantling my supposedly built mind mansion, I'm allowed to see no future in sight and I'm allowed to feel like I'm supposed to- the feeling of helplessness. But may we ever not remain being insufficient of encouragements- from our alter ego and your family if you have one. May we never get stuck in ignorance and let our failures make our vision hang askew. May we never be short of dreaming about a silver lining even when we find ourselves in the puddles and storms we are not prepared for.