• sir_benjamins 10w


    Dear Abby, said someone from Oregon,
    I am having trouble with my boyfriend's attachment
    to an ancient gallon of milk still full
    in his refrigerator. I told him it's me or the milk,
    is this unreasonable? Dear Carolyn,
    my brother won't speak to me
    because fifty years ago I whispered
    a monkey would kidnap him in the night
    to take him back to his true family
    but he should have known it was a joke
    when it didn't happen, don't you think?
    Dear Board of Education, no one will ever
    remember a test. Repeat. Stories,
    poems, projects, experiments,
    mischief, yes, but never a test.
    Dear Dog Behind the Fence, you really need
    to calm down now. You have been barking every time
    I walk to the compost for two years
    and I have not robbed your house. Relax.
    When I asked the man on the other side
    if you bother him too, he smiled and said no,
    he makes me feel less alone. Should I be more
    worried about the dog or the man?