12/14/19 Diary Entry #1
It started exactly at 3am today. My sleep got ripped away and thoughts flooded my brain up until 7am. Its 6:59 pm right now and I'm still laying in bed. Somedays it's easier just to not get out of bed. Just so you dont have to face the world. Just so you wont have to talk to anyone and pretend your ok even tough your not. Somedays I wake up defeated before my day even starts and i dont know how that happens but it just does. Today was one of those days. I lay in the darkness and open the barricaded doors and windows to my heart, and listen as the demons and monsters slowly slither their way out of the attic. Today I let the darkness win because tonight I became best friends with my demons, I never realized how alike we are. It's almost beautiful to look at my sanity slowly die as I lay here and watch and do nothing about it. My soul cries for help and I just stare and wait until the pain and dead memories rot whatever human emotions I had left. The stench is something I can't quite put into words but it reeks of putrid and decayed remains of what I once called hope. Let the beauty burn into dirt and bury it away, somedays it's easier not to get out of bed.