And after all, I have convinced myself that darkness is my place, I was meant to be here. But I don't know for how long I have to stay here, grasping my bleeding arm to stop the oozing blood for a while. I just don't know anything.
On dismal nights, my frozen hands shake and I whine mercifully to have a little sleep, to show some mercy on my worn eyes, to deal with my insomnia. Nevertheless, I failed every time so I'm going to stop trying now.
You know what after a certain period, anyone can get tired of their problems and anxiety. At some moment in life, everyone thinks to die. If not everyone then most of the people does, and I think daily of dying. People may feel that I am absurd but they can't see life from my eyes. However, who cares about what people think, I never did and I will do never.
I had done things in my life which people consider as sins. I had cut my veins, I had gulped liquors on late nights, I had broken hearts, I had cheated on people who loved me, I had left all my friends and family.
But now I'm tired of all this shit, I should stop all this fakeness and lies. I need to stop this because for how much time I can handle this? For how much time I can be like this, shit?
Today I want to over this, I want to be real, I want to do everything that I was just thinking about for a long time. Today I want to gift my drowsy soul to hell. Today I want to close my eyes and sleep. Today I want to die and I will. Today, I will.