• boddobodes 5w

    #mirakee #mirakeenetwork #depression

    Depression is feeling like you’re drowning in the ocean, gasping for air and no one is around to help you. It’s just a struggle with yourself to see how long you can keep your head above the water.
    Every day, it consumes you and terrifies you but it’s your reality. While others are trying to thrive, you just want to survive. You try your best to take life day by day, sometimes even hour to hour.
    Depression is fearing the next day will be just as bad as the day before. Its wondering why everyone around you seems so happy yet you can’t feel anything at all.
    Depression is questioning every day why you’re still alive. It strips away every ounce of self-worth you have until you seclude yourself from everyone around you. what’s so traumatizing about depression is you know life without depression.You know what happiness feels like even though you haven’t felt it in weeks or even months. You remember having purpose in life, a reason to get out of bed in the morning, but now your brain cannot fathom those same reasons giving your life any purpose.
    Its feeling like someone’s holding your body and mind captive and you are just suffering waiting to be released.
    Depression is not talked about, which makes it one of the loneliest feelings in the world. It’s you alone verse a disease that has taken millions of lives. The odds are not in your favor.
    To anyone fighting this battle, you will be okay. All these days you wake up only to battle with your own mind for 24 hours, one day you will wake up and win that battle. You will feel happiness again. I have faith in you that you will fight long enough to accomplish your future plans. Depression is unbearably strong, but you are stronger. You have the ability to overcome depression, maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually.
    You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel right now, but it is bright. If anyone deserves to get there, it’s you. Keep fighting.
    If you can’t fight anymore, PLEASE Talk to someone.... suicide may seem like an option but it’s not the answer. 

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    Night and Day

    The night is my favourite moment, alone and quiet in the darkness of my room.
    I expose all the broken parts of me that have refuse to heal.
    It's in the dark i tend to my wounds or allow it to linger.
    It's in the dark I have to sort through my thoughts,struggling with myself to see how long I can keep my head above water.
    It’s in the dark that I count the pills in my hand,dizzy with overwhelming indecisiveness of what is best before I collapse.

    The break of the day is my most terrifying moment I have to blanket myself in the distraction of those around me.
    During the day, I live a lie,When others are relying on me to do things, to engage with them, I can’t be ill.
    During the day I can take a timeout from my mental illnesses, because they are as much a part of me as my jugular vein.
    During the day I can temporarily bury my illnesses under the otherness of my daily activities. Silently counting hours to be alone again in the dark.
    ©boddobodes