• waziraa 4w

    Some things Hits hard

    It's not bad to suffer from mental illness. It doesn't make anyone less of a person if they suffer from anxiety, depression, panic attacks or in case any mental disorder. You're a gift and worthy of love this is what I read somewhere and have been quoted several times by my therapist but this is not how the patients are treated with.
    Being a patient of anxiety for 9 months and fighting through trying to convey prople that I'm a sane person and covincing them by every inch of my soul what I got was a certificate of not been able to get over a guy. So, this is irony of my life where I have been told that everyone understands me and my space and my need for peace but then again we live in the generation where we the young adults talk about that do understand things about mental health but no-one no-one has actually a shit knowledge about it.
    So a generation where we ignore people to seek their attention and a generation where sympathising is given more value then consideration of anyone's problem.
    Today my seclusion from the world has a very big reason and no-one no-one would get to know a shit idea about me anymore because they already had enough and then now everyone's daily newspaper needs to be published with some other stuffs then my life.
    I told everyone I have been misunderstood and this is what always happened who didn't misunderstand me you, everyone did.
    Where I needed everyone I had no fucking idea about I'll have to fight everything all alone and just face things.
    Did you forget that day when you had a fight with family and in all these my state wasn't good at all still I preferred to call you several times but you didn't attend my calls and what so is it something like that friendship means when you're life is alright then only you will think about talking to someone and helping someone.
    There are many times I called up everyone and my calls and messages remained in your inbox unanswered. Man you people must have shown me some sympathy right after knowing what is wrong and right. This is not how a friend is supposed to be. And you all ask me to tell about my problems. What do you expect me to do now tell you what's I'm up with and then again be in your inbox like a thrash.
    You know on that day everyone bragged at me and nobody wanted to know that how am I living everything and suffering all alone. None of you reminded me how strong I have been till now and how am I surviving all this through this gloomy days but the great thing you all did was to made me feel how selfish I'm towards myself that I don't even attend your calls.
    You know what I didn't loose anyone, it's just you all lost me.
    It hurts me when I look back things how good it was and how it and turned against me now. When you all respected me for my academics and now you all think about my personal life. It just hurts to be mocked every time for being a sad poet and and it just hurts everytime when people say that you have only sad things to tell.
    This pain has been a part of my life then why should I hide it from anyone. Everyone says you didn't do any mistake then why don't prople want me to talk about it.
    It's just that until and unless you are not hurt, broken, crushed, ignored, misunderstood, undervalued and disrespected like me you can never understand.
    So let's just be very clear assume me as a bitch and be happy in your world. Anyways if my life is hell I don't want to turn anyone's life a hell like me. And an unsound person can't live with geniuses like you all.