This wasn't the time to want a new start, and if it was it wasn't the time to feel the guilt and die by it, to let him have the upper hand and grab both of hers as she dropped the knife before she could surrender, or change her mind.
She didn't want Nadia to see this, she had yet a few things to say that she might never have to after all but she didn't want for Nadia to see her hurting him or even for her to see him hurt her. Hadn't she come to kill her? Didn't she still know how to win a fight?
What a joke she had become. It wasn't funny.