Self harm has become my number one addiction. After all the work I did to stop before, the months of retraining, I screwed up and started it up again. I'm an addict and it has become my drug. The harm to myself helps to redirect my emotional pain, helps keep my demons at bay. It helps me to feel when I'm emotionless. Its the punishment I deserve for my thoughtlessness. I have fallen back into this stupid habit, even harder then before, like a rabbit down a never ending hole. Not sure if I can shake it this time, it's something I can no longer control.