Your voice.Your touch.Your fingers.Your arms.Your smile.Your face.Your laugh.Your lopsided grin. And I could keep on listing.The things which you left behind.Because they became my everything.They became my life.
I don’t want to forget this line, so I’m writing it down.
"I can’t say goodbye, I’m still drifting with your echoes."
And that’s true to the point.I can’t seem to move on.How could I?When you gave me so much to look forward to.Sometimes I feel like words are a curse, because when I have to describe this feeling in words... when I actually put it into words, it feels more real and makes the pit of my stomach twist and turn.
I love words.I used to love them when you were by my side.But now I can’t bring myself to love them the same anymore.When I express myself with words, everything feels more real.The fact that you’re not here, and the crushing truth that it’s the reality that I have to face.
"Do you want to run away from ever having to verbalise it?"
I’d rather do that.It seems like the easy way out.I just can’t "verbalise it." I’m not ready for that yet.So I’ll sing a song.
"Fuyu No Hanashi."
And I’ll try to make it about you, a story that took place on a certain night.A story that took place during a certain winter- Fuyu No Hanashi.
So I’ll scream and I’ll sing.Sing out loud so that people will understand my pain.How much it hurts.I’ll play the song with your guitar.I’ll play to be forgiven.
"Then will you die for me?"
I’ll sing until my vocal chords break.If they break, then I would have never been able to utter those words to you.
So listen to me sing.Scream.My song.Your song.A Winter Story ( Fuyu No Hanashi)
"I can’t forgive you.I hate you."
"But I want to forgive you.And myself"
So I’ll sing this song, seeking for redemption and to love words and the feelings that they can bring a person, once again.
I’ll sing, so that I will be able to find a new tomorrow in this world.
Hey guys, so I’m back from the dead.I’ll try to be alive more, and get rid of the zombie version.Thanks a lot to all those who have been looking forward to my writing (sorry for the long wait), but I’ll try my best to keep writing again, as I used to.
A huge thank you to @alto_spade for his encouraging words which was definitely part of the reason I’m back here.And also @homeless, thank you for being a great friend as well♥️ And to all those people who spent time reading and following my account while I was inactive, no words can be enough to express my gratitude.Thank you:)