• lifecrumbs 6w

    #22: Letter1 to future husband

    Dear future husband,

    I've been trying to write to you for quite some time now, but couldn't put anything on paper except for those meaningless doodles.

    Well, that's because every time I think of you, swarms of butterflies start flapping their wings in my stomach, making me wonder if I do the same to you. Yes I am a girl of 21st century independent, ambitious and career oriented. I am a girl who thinks its her responsibility to do something for the society. But there is that part in me too which craves to be loved and pampered ... <3 and so i dream and think about you often.. I am really afraid of what is going to be the result of this expectations and imagination versus reality..

    Currently I am 23, working, independent, living the life I want in my ways.. Hopefully you would be doing the same somewhere..

    I am sure you are someone chosen by my family.. As I am sure of one thing by now that i will be doing arrange marriage.. Its not that I don't like or want love marriage.. its just that I know myself and i am too afraid to fall in love.. though I wonder what might have brought you here.. to me..

    Anyhow, I have a lot to confess.

    The thing is, no living being is perfect and neither am I. In fact, I am rather clumsy with many inbuilt imperfections.

    The laughs I laugh are a bit weird in the group and my friends make joke of it.. I have a different sweet tone of speaking which is inbuilt as it comes naturally but sometimes it makes things weird ... I often lose and forget things... I am quite a foodie yet i spill my food over me often ...i like things my way.. a bit of cleanliness freak.. I am sometimes stubborn too.. I have my own opinion and views over different matters and I like people to respect it as I respect their views because I do believe that same thing could be looked from a lot of angles and each one would make it different and yet equally true..

    Sure enough, loving everything about me would be difficult for you. Also, because I understand... I understand that none in the world can completely match the image of the better half one decorates one's heart with.

    With all possibility, I might not match the imaginary creation of the woman you'd been wanting in your life for so long. And chances are that you'd not match the creation I've been working on since the time I had my first-ever-crush on harry potter(the character of book not Daniel Radcliffe).

    But remember, I wouldn't want you to mould yourself so as to satisfy the picture I created in my heart's heart. Likewise, I wouldn't want you to want me to change myself so as to satisfy yours. And believe me, believe me, you and I, in our exclusive, unadulterated, unchanged selves, shall surpass the beauty of our creations by creating a superlative piece of real world.

    After all, isn't this what life is all about? Finding not a perfect fairytale prince charming but someone who's far from perfect, yet perfect for you, who's imperfect, to create an imperfectly perfect reality?

    You and I shall do exactly that, dear one. Exactly that!

    Ergo, here I am, hoping that you'd accept my flaws along with my strengths; that you'd respect each of my shortcomings that make me, me; that you'd love me the way I am and adore me for who I am.

    Because honestly, I do, and it'd be great to have someone welcoming me in his life who hands me no volumes of 'Rules to be Followed' handbooks.

    And oh, in case nobody tells you, I want you to know that you are precious. Precious to me!

    Boggled at the strangeness of how we haven't even met yet and such upsurge of emotions, are you? Well, this is how affection works, I guess.

    Um, just a random question though, do my thoughts even cross your mind ever? Or is it me qualifying an altogether different level of weirdness, I wonder.

    Tell me about it when we meet, okay? And along with that, tell me about every twisted frightened thought you've ever had; about the things that make your heart bounce with rapture; about that one best friend you had, who is now a mere acquaintance; about how you drown your problems in a glass of alcohol only to later regret; about your heart having an exclusive room for insecurities and about how badly you want to vent them out; tell me, tell me about your dreams, secrets, embarrassing moments, passion, this, that; about every possible thing that people thought weren't worth lending an ear to. Because I will... I will listen. Patiently. Willingly. Merrily. Yes, I quite talkative fellow but I always have ears for the people I care for... I try to be a good listener... If need be please shut me up and say whatever the hell you have wanted to say for so long.. not necessarily about us but rather about anything.. about the struggles you faced, the decisions you made, the memories you created, everything that made you what you are.. or anything that keeps you wondering.. 

    Till then, know that you are loved; that you are loved in an ethereal kind of way.

    The kind of way in which you too perhaps love me, or so I like to think.

    Your future wife