I was the one who wore facades of nonchalance whenever I heard those sweet nothings being whispered in someone's ears.
On days when they talked of beauty, I was the one who was draped in oblivion. Maybe my blemishes blurred my existence or my height measured the length of how much I would be cared or loved. But somehow I survived because then still I knew how to gather my pieces and prove them wrong.
And I found you then and thought that perhaps, some smiles are really a promise and you'll hold my hand and carve a "us" that will scintillate. But how could I forget that scars attract me more than smiles, I fell for your miseries and I made them mine. You had already carved fireflies for someone else yet my butterflies bloomed for you. My paints reeked in your name and I came to know that I'll never be the same. I made you mine before even witnessing those things they call pictures, for I fell for those poems that didn't spelled my name but I so wanted them too and in the hope of making them carve a "us", I burnt in a thing they call love. You told me that you love me but your ideas of words were foreign to mine. I knew you love her yet I passed those I love you too's in return. You uttered them a thousand times yet they didn't meant what I wanted them to. But I can't blame you, I don't know how to save a drowning person when I myself start burning reading his pain. Maybe I'm too fragile to help you or my feeble bones have got broken thinking of us. I love you and I know saying this won't be enough but I don't know what will be if love won't be. I love you like you love her, I love you like pain loves you that it never leaves your hand, I love you like helplessness loves me, I love you how poets love lies, I love you how cowards love metaphors, I love you how rants love agony. Yet it won't be enough, for you're too lost now to take me to paths I yearned to go with you. But I don't know how to unlove someone, I so want to leave you and sometimes I wish we would've never came across and I hate you for being so kind to me. I fell in the abyss and I'm choking now......
*I love things that don't end just like this*