• ashleyfay 10w


    i never anticipated knowing how hard your heart could be lodged between its own chest,
    especially when i was with you.
    but that would be a lie,
    because i questioned it all the time
    it’s ironic when it breaks you feel it the most,
    i’m alive,
    i feel that,
    but i also don’t want it without you.
    at least, right in that moment, because i was sure i would have spent that moment with you
    but alas
    something quit
    i knew too
    i wrote it out
    i said it
    maybe manifested it?
    but the shakes continued and i spoke as if i was fine but i can only trick my brain so much because my body ached and told me otherwise.