i never anticipated knowing how hard your heart could be lodged between its own chest,
especially when i was with you.
but that would be a lie,
because i questioned it all the time
it’s ironic when it breaks you feel it the most,
i feel that,
but i also don’t want it without you.
at least, right in that moment, because i was sure i would have spent that moment with you
i knew too
i wrote it out
i said it
maybe manifested it?
but the shakes continued and i spoke as if i was fine but i can only trick my brain so much because my body ached and told me otherwise.