I feel like I am not yet ready for a lot of things that have already happened. I am not prepared for the tragedies that have fallen on me so early. In my head I am a beginner and the world expects me to run marathons. I need time and space and solitude to acknowledge what I have already lost. I need to make room for good that may come and that is only going to happen when I align to my experiences not to their conditions or expectations. Sometimes you don't need people to have your back, you need them to back off so you may heal well in silence at your own pace.