• rushdashajar 6w

    Teen twist...

    When night hugs me and the cold wind touch my face ,at that very most moment I can feel beating my hatred with my own bloody hands. You know ,whispering sound of different creatures...that silence consoles me....even the stars starts twinkling more and more when i go on Terris to adore them .....it's just lovely....just you and your pain.....both having conversations ....chilling out.....bursting out their frustrations...and much more.....a real life scripture of what if Dreamland really exist....night is love...and love is mumma and if mumma is love and night is love that mumma is night.....hahahaha I know I am acting stupid soo I try to find my mother in night.....but where is she hidden .....under the sky....or in stars....or is she on another planet and having a new experience...lol...
    So why do I feel like this should I need to question on this too...lol
    So what the point of discussion when I can't even find a clue.....so when things go wrong or you can say when it just get impossible to handle things with your very own hands than its time to treat you first not things.....not to demotivate you or not to ignite your self hatred but just to improve you....just to give a real definition of the matter what people do is they live in false assumptions created by their own heart just for that temporary relief....they don't give a fuck about tomorrow dude...I accept living in today is better that living in future but future is important tooo dear....tell me if by chance in future something went wrong with anyone of us...any traumatic event or whatever than what will we do...now you all might be thinking that why am I discussing these things we all know this already...but it is important too...you are just faking up all the time what you do is you run despite of knowing it really well that by just running you can't win the race.....if you want to win the race you have to take care of other aspects too it's not a Dreamland.....it's a land with no choice......practicality is good but these things are explicable only when you genuinely experience a big trauma or something and if not ,than sorry you are literally a stone hearted person with no feelings.....so i am not telling you to live in your pain ....but I am not even telling you to forget your pain or believe that you aren't facing anything obviously it's impossible but but but. Dear...there is a term called balance which is rarely found in our dictionary of life now days..... what destiny exactly is?
    Aah!it's a plan of God whom you should have faith upon.......whatever he do he has a reason....and you can't think better than him.....so why to curse destiny which is written by God....at least it's better than your plans "sometimes I feel like running away from everyone."....I don't know why I feel like this and I am not even interested to raise any further questions that why am I feeling like this or that there is no bad....did you ever question your mumma that why you cared for me so much despite of knowing it well that I would not be able to return even one percent of what you did for me...so why you raise questions on your own self.....when you can't in that way so you have to stop in this way too....because nearly it's same.....overthinking is a deadly disease more deadly than ciggrate it can't damage your liver like ciggrate but it can make you so mentally unfit that it could get really get difficult for you to concentrate on your work you just start doing the apposite of productivity....so I don't understand sometimes that on one side we say that I hate myself at the same time we say i love god so how can you love your creator when you can't even love his creation....love is complicated....She is she and he is he neither she can't be he nor he can't be she....they both have different powers what she can do he might can't...and what he can do she might can't so stop chasing equality.....because nor she is equal to he neither he is equal to she....its like comparing needle and a sword... what a needle can do sword can't and what a sword can needle can't.....can she inject sperms in vagina or can he become pregnant....nope isn't it.....they both have different powers they are not equal they are different...can a women with no hormonal imbalances naturally have more testosterone than estrogen or can a men with no hormonal imbalances naturally have more estrogen levels than testosterone.....the answer is quiet obvious guys it's a huge noooo....right?
    ‌so why do we compare two different body when we all no it somehow that we aren't same.......we are different not discriminated...
    Now I am gonna describe us in poem get ready guys _
    Why self love seems like a huge chore...?
    Why everything bores?
    Why self_ hatred is taking no break?
    What should I sake?
    Why am I Scared from my own deeds?
    Why this leftover over self_love seems like it leaks?
    The dark barks in the ear,
    And scratched heart with fear....
    Why Keep awakening the insomniac spirit....?
    Silence......plays with truth...
    Or I plays the truth in silence....?
    Why I Feel like running away,?
    Is that what I deserve to pay...?
    Why do I need to find the invisible hope of ray...?
    Why I lack my own presence in my absence....
    And then why my absence make me force to transform in a different creature...
    Could I change this feature...?
    just don't get it..
    That Why can't I fit in?
    Should I live,
    From whom should I need to ask?
    Where happiness exactly resided...?
    Is it Hidden under the mask?
    Mirror mirror on the wall,
    I hate myself bcoz I feel like I look like a ball....
    Is it God's call....
    Please tell me,
    That why me...
    Why ?
    The fleeting blithe doesn't seems like blithe bcoz it's fleeting...but still why do I feel like this?
    What exactly is bliss?
    Why those Caramelised tears,
    Isn't bearable enough to bear..
    This is how we feel ....,
    Am I right I know I am right because nearly we all are facing this.....
    If you think negative.....even positivity will run from you by thinking I knocked the wrong door....so guys stay positive stay healthy....;-)....
    ©rushdashajar