• anna_joe 5w

    My Days of endless struggle.
    More hopeful pills today,
    Trying to appear "normal"
    Yeah In some sort of way.

    It seems that this struggle
    Is always here with me,
    And I wouldn't be here now
    Writing this thinking
    If this confused mind ever be free.

    I know there's been many
    Who've had it worse than me,
    But that doesn't always mean
    That I wouldn't say good-bye.

    People say I have a lot going for me.
    They say I don't pay attention
    They say I'm way to lazy!!.
    They say I'm heartless!!
    And December suits me!!
    I'm sorry, but I just can't see.
    I can't see because my worst enemy
    Is not anyone else but the Monster inside me.

    Everyday passed feels like a roller coaster,
    Not much consistency.
    I'm nothing I'm useless
    I'm nothing I'm just me.

    Very little energy,
    Wanting to stay in bed,
    Wishing to be enthusiastic
    Instead of feeling sad, Lonley and messed up.

    Wanting to be excited,
    Wanting to care for more,
    But when nothing makes sense,
    It's hard to focus on anything around!

    Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking.
    It's hard to keep in touch
    With what is happening around me
    And not to worry too much.

    I feel that everybody is better than me
    And that I can't do anything right.
    This is how I've felt my whole dang life;
    It didn't just start last night.

    No confidence, no self-esteem.
    Everybody else is right.
    To speak my mind is to be a fool,
    So I just try to "sit tight."
    I never speak a word,
    I never cry aloud!!
    I never scream!!
    I bite my tongue when someone judge's!

    Any one of these problems
    Would be a heavy vice,
    But when you have them ALL
    Living seems like a roll of the dice.

    Read More

    Depression And Suicide

    ©anna_beaula