My Days of endless struggle. More hopeful pills today, Trying to appear "normal" Yeah In some sort of way.
It seems that this struggle Is always here with me, And I wouldn't be here now Writing this thinking If this confused mind ever be free.
I know there's been many Who've had it worse than me, But that doesn't always mean That I wouldn't say good-bye.
People say I have a lot going for me. They say I don't pay attention They say I'm way to lazy!!. They say I'm heartless!! And December suits me!! I'm sorry, but I just can't see. I can't see because my worst enemy Is not anyone else but the Monster inside me.
Everyday passed feels like a roller coaster, Not much consistency. I'm nothing I'm useless I'm nothing I'm just me.
Very little energy, Wanting to stay in bed, Wishing to be enthusiastic Instead of feeling sad, Lonley and messed up.
Wanting to be excited, Wanting to care for more, But when nothing makes sense, It's hard to focus on anything around!
Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking. It's hard to keep in touch With what is happening around me And not to worry too much.
I feel that everybody is better than me And that I can't do anything right. This is how I've felt my whole dang life; It didn't just start last night.
No confidence, no self-esteem. Everybody else is right. To speak my mind is to be a fool, So I just try to "sit tight." I never speak a word, I never cry aloud!! I never scream!! I bite my tongue when someone judge's!
Any one of these problems Would be a heavy vice, But when you have them ALL Living seems like a roll of the dice.