I’m still figuring out how to be alive even though I’m breathing. Everything pours out of me like a poison. It will be this way forever and it will collect in the corners of my mind where even the darkness can’t reach. Don’t try to find me. Don’t even dare. Don’t even think about it. Guts twisting at the thoughts of moving an inch and I combust like the galaxies that you swore weren’t real. Place my hand over a beating heart and I swear it’s mine, I just wish I could feel it because I need it this time. Drenched in my own neglect. Watched everything that I planted drown because I didn’t know when to stop giving. Stop and think about why I was even able to breathe in the first place. Ask myself how to be alive.