Today, its been exactly an year since you left me,
And somehow, the winter reminds me of you,
After all, It was two winters ago I learnt life was better with you,
And one winter ago that I had to learn to live without you.
Those icy cold months I remember were somewhat warmer than your cold shoulder.
You left me just when the monsoon started,
And I learnt that sometimes chai is just what you need, not cold coffee.
You were cold coffee.
And chai, as I have now realised had been in front of me for so long that I never saw it.
I still dream of you when I look up to the stars,
And wonder about destiny,
Stars.....hmm.... You used to say Starbucks was above me, so I left it.
I know now that I was never meant for starbucks,
All I needed was garama garam ghar bani chai.
I used to hate the rain,
Somehow, the idea of getting drenched in cold water filled with dust and pollutants never excited me.
I learnt that it wasnt the storm outside I didnt like, it was the one inside me.
I learnt how well chai and the storm brewed happiness.
I had never seen punjab monsoons before,
Now I don’t think there’s anything better.
There’s puddles all over the place,
Tiny mirrors to see the storm within you,
You will soon get annoyed at them,
If there’s a hurricane in you,
Like I once did.
Now they remind me of cuddles,
Like tiny flashbacks and remnants of getting drenched in your love,
Of the rain sweeping away my tears and caressing me with chilly cold drizzles, yet warmer than your love.
I thought we were the epitome of love,
Before you turned over your cards,
And I realised we were nothing but a case study of how not to love.
And you left me thinking that our car crashed and I drove it into the wall,
Never realising I wasn’t driving our car, I was merely the brake,
A brake that didnt want the ride to stop.
I’m glad we didn’t go all the way,
Only to throw it all away.
I’m glad I saved some of my first times
And my best lines,
Waiting for when fate shines,
And I’m done paying for crimes,
I didn’t commit,
All because you didn’t commit,
Left me thinking I ended it.
You were in for the ride,
Not the journey,
I wish I just knew it sooner.
Just like you knew,
You weren’t meant for me.
But I have learned,
And I have grown,
And the sad truth is,
That your presence taught me a lot of things,
But I learned much more from the absence thereof.
I was so choked up with feelings,
I forgot how to breathe for myself.
Learnt to take a few drinks,
Vodka eased the storm,
Before I fell in love with chai,
I made new friends.
I found my beers,
And for them I’m grateful.
Took a few shots here and there,
But cocktails and shots are,
All puns intended, not my cup of tea.
Beer and Chai taught me,
When to let go,
And when not to,
Taught me to work on me,
For me, stayed by me,
Work, play and rest easy.
There’s always a tomorrow better than today.
And I know now.
So I bid you farewell, my winter.
Its time for monsoon.
Its time for you to go,
And I prefer Beer and Chai over Starbucks.