The Great Divide
I remember a game I used to play on the computer called DayZ
The area I travel through on a train is very similar, and it amazes me.
The hills of pine, the rolling grass meets the divide,
East of Glacier Park is where I've found my mind.
I've spent the last few days in a daze over the woman in my life,
and although I carry nothing but love for her, my distance has caused me strife.
I always say, in each poem how much I love her, and I truly do,
but this kind of stress is something that's entirely new.
I'm no pushover, I can be confident and carry my own weight,
we're both individuals and we decided we're both worth the wait.
It pains me not to hear from her for a day,
but I understand she's doing her own thing, and I won't get in her way.
My anxieties are ancient in this realm, and they still hold power in me today,
I've fallen in love maybe several times, and each has caused me much dismay.
She is the only one that ever meant me well, from a whole standpoint,
and I realize this more and more on my way back home to Sandpoint.
She fell for me by my confidence, personallity and my willingness to help people,
and the way we fell for eachother shot through me like some double desert eagles.
Somehow, thinking back, I always knew she was the one for me,
I've replayed the possibilities over and over while down on my knees.
My parents say not to stress, she loves you and to not worry,
but I can't help but think about another soul falling for her fiery fury.
We both addressed the fact that things could change, and we may part ways,
but if that happens I'll likely be haunted for the rest of my days.
I can't stand the thought of seeing her with someone else,
and for every other person, when the time came to stop, I put my love on a shelf.
When we were forced to drown our love in distance, and could no longer see eachother,
but we both sorta knew that we'd be willing to wait for one another.
I told her "It will all be okay" and that's where I stick, even on a day like today.
I love her, truly, I would drag my knees through miles of broken glass
just to see a smile on her face, and maybe if I'm lucky a laugh.
Her friends search for different love for I am but three years older,
but this kind of love is nothing we could smother.
It was unspoken at first, nothing but raw energy,
and oh, my, the synergy.
We looked like a couple of many years, and if the day comes that we part,
I will be a man of many tears, and I'll be torn apart.
It's eaten me up, her ease in finding new love,
and there's nothing wrong with that, I want to see her as free as a dove.
With me, there's nothing she can't share,
and I hope I've done a good enough job communicating how much I care.
Shit, I'm mathematically dislexic and failed Pre-Algebra twice,
and one time I solved her Geometry so she could pass her final, and that took all night.
I've never shot out of my bed quicker than that morning of her test,
for she needed the answers to pass, and I skipped my fair share of rest.
I was falling asleep on my desk solving these problems for her,
and I'd do it for days in a row if it meant success for her,
there's only one problem with men like me, and how we choose to care,
often time we put forth so much effort that it brings us despair.
I've been many things, but mostly used,
and she's also a member of the abused.
The way she lets me gently caress her face,
she uses my hand as a pillow, and rests in her rightful place.
One thing though, I can say I'm certain of,
is that the most powerful thing in life is true love.
There was no way we could stay together, and that was a fact,
but we chose to wait for eachother, and I can't be more grateful for that.
I only cry now over my father, for I've experienced his death once,
but he came to in a body bag, 13 minutes pronounced dead, just to raise his sons.
I've seen plenty of shit in my life, and the many dark corners to come with it,
but, shit, after that I don't shed tears anymore lest it's over him, and somehow now her.
The pain I hid in that bandroom, the days following our "break",
that took my soul and gave it a hard shake.
A poker face dawned on me, and I was able to cope,
but it made me feel like I'd been doing dope.
I was exhausted, the bags under my eyes black,
and the light weight of my bag turned to a heavy sack.
Not the books, no, nor the paperwork,
but just the shear energy to continue, and how much that took.
I don't ever want to lose her, and a part of both of us has a special place in reserve,
for we've both been there for eachother in ways that makes us, for that, both deserve,
She came to my graduation and put up with my family, (What?!)
that kind of love tears down the man in me.
With her, I feel like I'm 14 again,
with my anxieties spiking and my insecurities in a spin.
I can't dictate how I feel with her, and usually I'm chin up,
but I get such a giddy feeling when she playfully tells me to shut up.
I was taking photos for her of the Great Divide for she's never seen it before,
and I scrolled passed pictures of her, and my my, Mi Amor.
You never cease to amaze me with your raw beauty,
and while that fades phyisically, yours will forever live on eternally.
I hope your day went well, and all the bullshit went on down to Hell.
I wanted to hear from you, but my phone is shit and you're busier than it, so-
I love you, Faith, don't you ever doubt that,
I'm gonna try and nap now. Sincerely, the cat to your hat.