• malleable 4w

    Sometimes I look in the mirror and I’m okay with what I see.
    The girl looks happy in a way that’s not familiar anymore.
    Those times are few and far in between.
    Sometimes I look into the mirror and I think, “God, you could look so much better.”
    Those are the days that come by often.
    They slink in and stay for weeks at a time. They cause sadness and indifference.
    Those are the days that anger and sadness are close but can be kept at bay.
    Other times, I look into the mirror and all I see is hate.
    Hate for my skin, the color of my eyes, everything about my hair, the fat on my body.
    Those are the days where nothing is alright.
    Where nothing can look or feel right.
    Those are the days my bad attitude has free reign because there is nothing holding back that dragon.
    That is the time I want to rip and carve off my skin with my nail-bitten fingers.
    Rip all the hair out of my head and let it burn.
    Remove my eyes so I don’t have to see them or anything again.
    Starve myself to death, because really, what does it matter anymore?
    I can’t stand the sight of myself, but I don’t want to change.
    I want to love myself, but the problem is, there is no one in the world who loves themselves, faults and all, no matter what they say.


    ©malleable