• _apricity_ 10w

    Standing in the old house
    A strange mixture of feelings erupt within me
    My roommates Depression, Loneliness, and Hopelessness
    Greet me with strangling arms and leering grins
    I don’t fight them anymore – somehow they are a part me
    So together, in this house, in this room
    We endure the somber solitude of the day

    A sudden chill fills the room
    Death enters – its foul breath chokes me
    My three companions prostrate themselves
    Pressure builds in my bowels
    Bile rises in my throat
    A heavy weariness fills my bones
    He’s calling – hissing my name
    I can’t breath

    Death surrounds my soul – crushing me
    I hear groaning . . .
    Strange guttural sound -- it’s coming from me
    Deep painful darkness fills me
    I beg Death to take me . . .

    Through the open window
    A gush of wind enters
    A sheer curtain hanging comes to life
    It’s spirit lifts inwards and up beckoning me to dance

    What is this wonder?
    A limp ragged curtain – faded, stained, frail -- has life
    Reaching toward me . . . frayed fingers of thread motioning
    Old friends rush to me – Joy, Hope, Love
    Death’s grip slips – I gasp a breath
    Looking up I see the open window
    Boarded by old bare wood, hard with age

    I realize it’s daylight now – soft shadows
    A curving road leading to the water
    I can taste the saltiness in the wind
    Trees in the distance
    A calling from the sea
    Seagulls, waves, laughter

    Joy breaths into my nostrils
    Leave this place – Depression cannot hold you
    Simple pleasures I will give you
    Cool breeze on a summer afternoon
    Laughter of friends
    A walk in the garden
    A book
    The Sea . . .

    Depression laughs in my ears
    Through that window lies heartache, treachery, poverty, misery
    It will chew your insides up – blood will pour from your lips
    Pain and suffering awaits if you leave this house
    Death waits to take you home
    An end to this constant noise – the peace of total emptiness

    Another breeze and Hope fills my eyes with light
    I see colors – vibrant alive filling me with warmth
    Leave this place, take a journey to the sea
    Let light fill you and be your guide . . . see -- opportunities abound
    For laughter, love, forgiveness . . . for life – abundant life
    See the rainbow upon the Sea

    Hopelessness rushes toward me
    Kisses my lips and whispers
    Light burns and blinds
    Enslaves you
    They will see clearly your secrets
    Spotlight focus – ridicule scorn . . . ugly disgust . . . self-hatred

    Love rushes in and embraces me
    Light, fresh, empowering
    My heart leaps with pleasure
    Arm and arm she leads me to the window
    Much pain and sorrow – yes . . . also Love
    A powerful love that transforms, refreshes . . . frees
    Breathe deeply of the Sea air – fill your lungs
    Go – you are loved deeply and completely

    Looking out Looking in

    #writersnetwork #mirakee

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