There are some people who surrender to the want of the world and act accordingly,and there are those rare people who surrender to no one but themselves,and there are people who neither surrender to the world nor surrender to themselves.
These people are struck within themselves.They know what kind of person they wanted to be but still end up being an other person they never wanted to be.They grapple within their minds for a long time and reiterate firm words to themselves but when the time comes they turn out to be the one they never wanted to be.
They are never put in a demanding situation or neither people demand anything from them. Within themselves they are the person they wanted to be but in the world of actions they turn out to be someone else.
They wanted to be kind,they wanted to fight,they wanted to try new things,they know they are being triggered,they know they are being used,they know they are being loved and they accept that but still there is an other world within them which has the exact opposite side of these feelings and this side has made a undeniable impression within them.They know themselves and they struggle to get out of the dark world but somewhere in between,the dark world gives satisfying factor in their heart.They wanted to be pure,but there is a malignance residing within them that they can never get rid of.
They have the truth and realisation in their heart but innocence and false in expressing their actions.When other people come to know about this they may perceive them as a attention longing person.
But only that person knows how it is to be a person who cannot restraint themselves.They have made enough excuses to themselves,but they neither meant anything nor suppressed their guilt.Only they know the pain of trampling themselves.Its not because they don't want to do it,it's because they are not able to.They only want to be a good person,but in that process they harm themselves.
These people have the hardest secrets and painful tears that they never want to talk about.They know what they are within inside and they are willing to change,but outside they are unable to change.Something is holding them up which even they don't understand,they had every chance and they lose every time.
It takes to break themselves to become the person they want to,while some people lead with a courage to do that,some people are out there still trying and trying.... Every move they make in their life ends nothing but only as a regret.