It's been a while since we had a little chat right? A lot has changed since the last time we spared time from our 'busy' schedules to talk. I wanna let you know all about what I've been feeling the past few days.
All my complex emotions are coming rushing back and have begun a fight with my own mind. I tried reaching out, I swear I did but I feel like there's no one who understands me. They spit words at me, 'stop thinking about it' as if it were that easy. I try buddy, I really do that the monsters inside me don't eat me up, bit by bit, piece by piece, but it isn't in my control and you know it too.
It feels as if something is crawling in my body. An unknown soul who doesn't belong there, residing inside me. It gets to me, makes me do things I don't want to, I feel suffocated, as if someone's choking me but I never die. I start shaking all of a sudden. One moment I am laughing with friends and the other, I am just lost in my very own thoughts.
I feel nauseous, but I never vomit. If I could, I would just throw that strange body from inside of me and never let it in again. Buddy, it has been really hard. I need your help and I wish you could take it faraway from me. But still there's a hope inside of me because I know it'll be over someday. I am desperately expecting a knock on my door by someone who could actually take it all away from me. But you can't hug me, can you?
You have always been a great companion. I turn to you whenever the monster inside of me troubles me. Just you, me and the sunset, the perfect moment to get rid of it all even if it's for a little while. A few minutes of peace before I return to that war with my own self again. I still await what you can do, to come with your strongest of power and take me with you to a realm unknown where I could lie down in peace and befriend my own self. Inner peace is what I desire but I know it's gonna be a long journey and I won't give up.
To the waves, I've always fancied you. I'll wait at the seashore for you to gently come and wrap my feet in your warm embrace and slowly moving up to my face till the time I'm drowned in you completely.
theinconspicuous@the_diarylifeeee kindly go and promote your books somewhere else. And in case you don't know what a comment section is meant for, I'll surely let you know and please use it for that purpose only from next time. I won't mind if you take offense. Cheers