In this last part , I am going to explain briefly how i shared my love to him , he became my gem of happiness and many more things.
Last year of the college came with lots of happy tears and more curiosity about future. This year also opened my eyes and i realized i am in love with gem of happiness.
I was anxious about i wouldn't be able to see him daily , talk with him. May be there was fear of going apart from him. I wondered if anyone would make him happy as i've done. So many questions were in my mind on why i was affecting from leaving college specially from this person.
I took about 2-3 months to found out what he was actual to me. After knowing what he was to me , i wrote one letter for him. I believe love is something we can relate to daily lives. It was beautiful artwork. I came out of my comfort zone to told him this.
Kerala , his native place and my favourite state since childhood. I had learnt alot about kerala and keralians. As a child , i cut piece of new paper if there was any information about kerala. I still have one piece of that madness. I always asked many questions to my mom-dad about kerala.
I also wished to live there once in a while. I always loved kerala food and now i had learnt many recepies also. He came to my life in unexpected way. He was the magic.
At that time i didn't want him as my partner because i knew the cultural , age , looks , professional many more differences and majorly he would never say yes to me. I knew i couldn't be his best and last choice as well.
I said what i actually felt for him. When i gave letter to him , my eyes were full of tears with so much nervousness , i still don't know why i was behaving like that. I told him that i didn't need his answer but as we're humans , we can't control our emotion so did i.
I asked him may be after 3-4 days what he was thinking about me. He said he had alot of work and guests were came at his home so he didn't got time to think on it. He said he would tell me.
This college journey was ended. I got admission to another college for my masters. I really miss him there. Days were passing away with ups and downs. But my love for him was still the same. He was with me when in need. Everytime when i called him and he received it , my face had a different charm.
I talked with him about everything i had done or doing in this new college. There was always bit of happiness in me whenever he was around so i put his nickname as gem of happiness. He is too cute like the nickname.
Actually he has no clue about how much i love him. Even i told my mom i liked him and said if there was anything wrong , i would stop it. She asked me few questions on him. I answered them all then she said nothing.
I learnt malayalam , tamil language little bit in my free time. You can say me crazy. I was being better day by day. I gone to temple for 108 pradakshina every month for him as i believe in Vishnu Ji alot. I still pray and do malas for him every morning and evening.
As fear of losing him was in me. One day i texted him everything i always wanted to say and told him how much i loved him. He replied he was busy and didn't think of anyone or anything at that time. Obviously this was one big no to me.
We all have one point of hope for our dream come true inside us even if we deny that. I felt hurtful alot not because of his answer but from my own hope. I accept not everyone can love back. This was totally okay to be giver.
For me , the most important thing is his happiness as he is my true love. If it's with me or without me, i want him to be happy. I want his heart , mind or soul should be happy. Proud of him.
Maybe i can't love anyone as much as i do for him. I wish all his wishes will be full filled soon. He was , he is and he will be in me little bit. There's alot things i can't put in this story.