I never liked the idea of Zombies or an Apocalypse. I never liked the idea of the world falling apart around me.
I wanted to kill myself not to long ago. I wanted these haunting thoughts to go away and if that meant I had to kill myself to kill them I would. I liked the idea of ending my life on my own terms. It didnt scare me then.
Now, less than 2 years later, I these festering thoughts are coming back, but this time killing them seems more like poetry.
I am reading poems like I always do and it talked about the apocalypse. It talked about people saying they were scared and to be brave and to hang on. Then I got thinking about the world today, about the year we are in, and I find myself scared. Scared because my country is in a cold war with itself and because things are falling appart. Scared because I dont know if I would fight or die.
I dont know what would scare me more... living through hell or dying and maybe actually going there.