• girl_in_the_shadows 31w

    Dear Mom..

    For all the times,I don't listen to you,I am sorry.I wish you didn't have to always worry about me.I might be your disobedient child ,but Ma, I am fighting my own battles.I wish I could explain more to you, but I don't want to worry you anymore than I already do. For every morning, that I rush out before finishing my breakfast, for every night that I go to sleep before saying goodnight, I am sorry. I am only trying to hide from you, for one look at me and you will know - that I am not okay. Yes, I am not okay Ma, I am anything but okay and it will break your heart too. I know at the end of all days, when everybody leaves me, you will be there.When I am lost ,grasping for a way out , you will be there. You will take my pain as your own and my happiness will bring a smile on your face. Sorry Ma, that I am not happy .Sorry for hiding my pain from you.But I love you too much to see you suffer along with me.If I can't give you joy, atleast I shouldn't want to bring you more worries and pain. I know you are not convinced,but it can never be easy for a Mother to see their child struggling. I know you are aware that that I am camouflaging.But believe me Ma , I think its for the best. All the time, I think about the summer days, when you took me to the park, how you taught me to ride my first bicycle.Your endeavors to see me shine .Your efforts to make me happy.That beautiful dress with all your money saved.Your struggles and your sacrifices.I wish I didn't have to be such a failure.I wish I could make you proud.I wish a lot of things Ma , but now I will try to be happy for you. No more differences , no more hiding.I will lock my pain away and start anew.Let's have our new beginning today. Let's go out, watch a movie,maybe?You will buy me lemon ice-sticks like when I was a child.We will talk for hours afterwards , laugh a lot. You will sing verses of your favourite songs and I will listen to you enraptured. And when we come back to our little home, I will lie with my head in your lap and sleep.

    Yes,let's have our new beginning today.

    Your unworthy child (who loves you a lot)